mindless ramblings

A safe place for those who like to speak their mind with the lubrication of inebriation.

*borrowed from HBT

 

This'll go well

 

@Large

 

I was driving home from my homebrew club and Toad the Wet sprocket started playing... it brought all kinds of feelings. My 8th grade teacher played that song for our class at journal time... a lot.

I think top two bands that define my introduction to pop culture would be: Nirvana and MCHammer. Go figure.

 

Genius. Also who comes up with that shit

 

So I just searched (in hindsight) and one already exist! Last post was 2011.

https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads/drunken-ramblings.18342/

 

There's a few drunk threads. Don't let that stop you from being original.

 

Fuct. You're right. How about a third gen bro thread? FukinA bra.

Perhaps a little more this before I go all and

 

Now that I drink about it. Fukit. This is my safe place.


That being said no foul language please.

 

I like turtles

 

Sitting at his desk typing steadily:

Phone rings

“Hello”

“Hi honey… I think I’m having a miscarriage..”

Oh no no no no

“Are you sure?” I feebly reply

“Yes. There’s blood, too much blood… I’ve talked to the doctor. I’ve set up an appointment for the end of the week”

Dammit shit shit dammit.

“Ok. I’ll come home?”

“No don’t, there isn’t anything for you to do”

“Uhhh, ok let me finish this up and I’ll be there soon”


Later: At the grocery store, standing in front of a mountain of flowers.

I’m numb. I stare blankly at the display in front of me.

“You need help”

“What?”

“You need help? I work here”

“Oh. No I’m fine”

I grab the bunch I’ve been staring at and make for the cashier.

“Ooh those are nice” the woman crones from across the kiosk.

The hell she say?

The sudden urge to take these flowers and slap her across the register comes on quickly.

“They’re for a funeral” -that shut her smug pie hole.

Where’s this rage coming from…?

“Oh I’m sorry” she says, her face dropping.

As the anger bleeds from me I feel ashamed.

I pay and leave.


Later: At home sitting on the couch midway through a conversation:

“I mean it might be a blessing” she says with a forced smile.

“Wait what? How is this miscarriage a blessing? You know how long we have been trying and now with all the doctor stuff… ”

“Yes I know. But that stuff wasn’t working. I have a confession I need to make… The baby wasn’t yours”

I stand up.

“The fuct you say?”

“I was desperate. Andy and I were on that long drive a few months ago after dropping you off and we stopped for dinner and it just happenend…”

“Wait Andy?!, As in my best friend Andy??”

She gives me that look. Like I’m the idiot.

“What other Andy’s do we know” she replies smartly.

I see red. I look down at my hands and they’re claws and I close them into fist tight enough to crack my knuckles.

I look up and see her face. She can see my rage. She scoots back into her chair, eyes darting around. Looking for the exit I’m sure.

I release my hands.

Through gritted teeth I say, “I cannot process this.”

I walked out the door, even more numb than when I walked in.

I walk to my 2017 Double Cab Short Bed 4x4 Sport and get in.

I wrap my hands around the top of the steering wheel and place my forehead on the back of my hands and begin to scream.

Pan out from the inside of the truck and the screaming is muffled on the outside.

Narrator voice over:

“Best in class sound proofing”

Theme plays:

“I love what you do for me, Toyota.”

 

1/10 too dark

 

"What are you doing?"

"What? I'm eating cereal."

"Dry cereal?"

"Nooo, I used the milk in the refrigerator"

A look of horror crosses her face briefly before she starts laughing.

"What? What's so funny?"

"That's not milk" another bout strikes.

"What'd you mean it's not milk?"
I drop my spoon and stare at my bowl.

"Haha. It's broth for goat semen."

I feel nauseous.

Her eyes are tearing she's laughing so hard now.

"I mean it's based on milk so I guess it is but we add a ton of stuff to make the stuff more verile. Don't worry we haven't inoculated it yet."

I guess that explains why it was in a beaker...

Narrator:
All new Toyota design means when you see the outside you know what you're getting on the inside.

Theme song:
I love what you do for me, Toyota.

 

“Geromie” I yell into the woods outside our camp site.

“Geromie, where are you boy?”

I hear a distant bark behind me.

I turn around “Geromie come here boy. Dinner is ready.”

Bark bark. I can hear him in the brush on the hillside across the ravine from our campsite.

I go back to making my dinner over the camp stove resting on the tailgate of my Tacoma.

A few minutes later I hear Geromie come back into camp and I look over.

“What do you have there? Did you find a bone buddy?”

I walk over to find Geromie chewing on a long thin bone. As I get closer what appeared to be dirt becomes clearly cloth.

Shit.

“Give me that boy.”

I grab for the bone. Geromie grawls half heartedly and I bop him on the head to let him know that is not ok and I take the bone.

It has a piece of denim stuck to what looks like a lower leg bone. I drop it and wipe my hands on my pants.

“Where in the hell did you get that” I ask my dog.

He looks at me and cocks his head questioningly and patters off to eat what I’ve left in his bowl.

Great now what…? It’s getting late in the day.

I walk back to my truck and pull out my flashlight from behind my seat and click it on and off a couple of times.

Alright lets go confirm what I think that bone is and then I’ll call the police.

“Ok Geromie. Lets go take a look see”

He pops up and walks over and we set off through the dense brush. The deepening evening combined with the darkness below the trees makes me glad I brought my flash light and I click it on.

The light flickers for a second. I shake it and it holds steady.

“Let’s make this quick Geromie, it appears I need batteries.”

We make it to the other side of the ravine and I peer across to the campsite and try to judge where I am and where I saw the dog in the brush. I figure I’m close so I start walking in expanding circles as evening turns into night.

I see a shallow indentation in the ground and Geromie trots up to it and starts digging where he left off before.

“Get away from there” I yell and drag him away from the pit.

“Stay!”

I walk back to what is clearly a shallow grave.

Dammit.

Alright time to call the police. I reach into my pocket for my cell and realize I left it in the truck.

Dammit.

“Ok Geromie time to go back”

At this moment my light flickers off. I shake it. Nothing.

Dammit.

Narrator voice over:

“The now available LED DRL with projector-beam headlight on the 2017 Tacoma will never let you down”

Theme plays:

“I love what you do for me, Toyota.”

 

She looks dead.

I look up and see the parents holding each other while my Engineer tries to block their view.

I look down again and I know she’s dead.

I drop to my knees and place the mask of my AMBU bag over her entire face. It’s too big; should have grabbed the smaller mask.

It doesn’t matter. As I start to squeeze the bag I see the air bubbling out of the hole in her chest.

I can feel my face contort in horror. I quickly look away. My Engines EMT is standing across from me clutching her kit.

“She’s dead” she states blandly. I stare at her for a second and quickly glance at the parents again.

“We do this until the paramedics show up.” I hiss, a little too forcefully.

She kneels and presses a large bandage into the wound. It’s soaked immediately and she pulls another one from her kit.

I keep squeezing the bag, forcing more air into her. I lose track of time.

“We’ll take it from here.” A voice says from oblivion.

I look up and see an ambulance has arrived, lights blaring, and a Paramedic is now where my EMT was.

“Yeah, yeah ok” I say as I stand up and back away a few steps.

I notice a police officer is trying to get the parents further way from the scene. My Engineer is standing nearby looking lost.

My hands.

My gloves are covered in her blood. I pull them off quickly, like they’re infecting me.

I walk back to my Tacoma, climb into the cab and stare blankly out the windshield.

Knock Knock Knock

I turn my head and see the Chief outside my window. I roll the window down.

“You ok?” he ask.

“No” I say from the end of a long tunnel.

He stands there dumbly so I roll the window back up and stare down at my lap.

I seem to have gotten blood all over myself, and my seat.

Narrator voice over:

“The all-new 2017 Tacoma stain proof upholstery is standard on all models.”

Theme plays:

“I love what you do for me, Toyota.”

 

Who's in??

 

Is that supposed to be 2 different things?