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Dumblaws

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by genxer36, Jul 31, 2008.

  1. Jul 31, 2008 at 12:36 AM
    #1
    genxer36

    genxer36 [OP] Lord of Tomfoolery

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    Here are some dumb laws I put together for your enjoyment
    from the dumblaws.com website.
    I added my own commentary,
    hopefully it will give you a laugh.

    Enjoy!!
    Sean (genxer36)

    Post which one is your favorite.


    Alabama


    Incestuous marriages are legal. (This is my wife-sister-aunt-cousin Mary Sue)

    You may not drive barefooted. (What the hell! But you can marry
    your sister)


    Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (The next summer
    Olympic event to be added, Booger flickin!)


    Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status,
    may face up to five years in jail. (So is this to stop the inbreeding?
    That is legal !)


    http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/alabama/?page=0
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Georgia

    Signs are required to be written in English. (Amen!)

    Acworth - All citizens must own a rake. (Must be a where
    all the landscapers live;Julio,Juan,& Miguel)


    Athens - It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair.
    (I guess I shouldn't of had that chillidog)

    Atlanta - Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or
    street lamp. (Must be from those crazy conventioneers)

    Gainesville - Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
    (As opposed to your feet)

    Quitman - It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road
    .
    (How does the chicken get to the otherside?)


    Roswell -
    The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores
    must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured.
    (No comment needed)

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Tennessee

    You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
    (This is probably a big problem at the aquarium)

    Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
    (Good reason not to live in Tennessee)

    Driving is not to be done while asleep. (Good to know)

    It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
    (I wonder if roadkill is loaded with tryptophan

    & may cause sleeping while driving)

    Memphis-
    illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is
    a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red
    flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
    (How embarrassing if you were the driver, I think I'll walk.)

    Fayette County -
    You may not have more than
    five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.
    (You might be a redneck if.....5! But 4 is OK!)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Virginia

    Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
    (Noisy state)

    Waynesboro-
    It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up
    Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the
    car waving a red flag. (There must be something to this
    women driver thing)

    Culpeper -
    No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
    (Get your ass off the sidewalk)

    Norfolk -
    Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
    (Have you ever tried to get near a seagull?
    Good luck spitting on one)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    New Mexico

    Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.
    (Uhh! Do you know how a cemetery works?)

    You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
    (This must be to help the restaurant economy)
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    South Dakota

    If there are more than 5 Native Americans on
    your property you may shoot them.
    (P.E.T.A. has the slogan "fur is murder". S. Dakota has
    the slogan "Native Americans are legal" to murder)

    Spearfish-
    If three or more Indians are walking down
    the street together, they can be considered a war party
    and fired upon.
    (What is it with the indians? Not a good place for indians to
    raise a family)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    North Dakota

    It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided
    you are in a covered wagon.
    (Me say - Indians you-stay-out-of-Dakotas, you-live-longer)
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Montana

    Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or
    war party and it is legal to shoot them.
    (Well we now know the midwest is not indian country)



    It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck
    without a chaperone.
    (Uhh! What if the chaperone is into sheep also)

    Billings -
    It is illegal to bring a bomb or
    rocket at city council proceedings.
    (Ya think!)


    Whitehall -
    It is illegal to operate a
    vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
    (You might be a redneck if...
    You make your own snow tires for your pickup)


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    New York

    Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being
    used as a business. (Woohoo! So much for advertising
    for the plastic surgeon)

    It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing
    "body hugging clothing. (But topless is fine?)


    The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
    (Not too bright in New York are they? Isn't that
    the point)

    Carmel -
    A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and
    pants that do not match. (Home of the Garanimals.
    Match the animal tags on your clothes so you know it matches)
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Alaska
    It is considered an offense to push a live moose
    out of a moving airplane. (Skydiving moose)


    Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
    (What if it jumped from another airplane near you?)


    Anchorage - No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
    (Are you sure were not in Alabama?)

    Fairbanks -
    It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages
    to a moose. (This must be were the skydiving moose got his start)


     
  2. Jul 31, 2008 at 2:26 AM
    #2
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore

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    thats crazy
     
  3. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:04 AM
    #3
    genxer36

    genxer36 [OP] Lord of Tomfoolery

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    Alaska is my favorite!
     
  4. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:08 AM
    #4
    Ridingontrd

    Ridingontrd Well-Known Member

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    Drunk moose skydiving.:cool: LOL,ps.thanks for the rep.
     
  5. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:09 AM
    #5
    missileman125fw

    missileman125fw Well-Known Member

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    Damn, no Florida jokes. There's got to be something ass backwards in this state!
     
  6. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:21 AM
    #6
    genxer36

    genxer36 [OP] Lord of Tomfoolery

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    This is something I put together about 6 months ago. I will try and find something for Florida, so you won't feel left out.
     
  7. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:43 AM
    #7
    tigerfan00

    tigerfan00 BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Staff Member

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    South Carolina :rolleyes:

    It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.

    When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.

    It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

    Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

    It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.

    now...to be fair...i cant actually find an offense code for any of these in the SC Code of Laws

    feel free to try
    http://www.scstatehouse.net/cgi-bin/query.exe?first=FIRST&querytext=&category=Code
     
  8. Jul 31, 2008 at 3:51 AM
    #8
    tigerfan00

    tigerfan00 BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Staff Member

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    However...we do have these winners too

    SC 16-15-50 Seduction under promise of marriage.
    By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

    SC 52-13-10 Operation on Sunday forbidden.
    Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.

    SC 53-1-40 Unlawful to work on Sunday.
    No work may be done on Sunday.
     
  9. Jul 31, 2008 at 4:05 AM
    #9
    kris77

    kris77 Born in the Backwoods

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    In channel Vent Visors, AVS Bug Shield, Hankook Dynapro RF10 265/70/17
    There is something about West Virginia too...

    Not sure exactly what the words say...but something to this effect...

    Its illegal to beat your wife unless your on the courthouse steps on sunday in broad daylight....then its legal...

    I'll dig up the source and post it...
     
  10. Jul 31, 2008 at 5:56 AM
    #10
    Burns

    Burns Well-Known Member

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    Some of NJ stupid laws.


    New Jersey Crazy Law

    # It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

    # You may not slurp your soup.

    # If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

    # It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

    # On a highway you can not park under a bridge.

    # Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.

    # You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.

    # Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

    # It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
     
  11. Jul 31, 2008 at 6:09 AM
    #11
    tacomaman06

    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Lead, follow, or get the hell o Staff Member

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    sounds liek we need to update.........alot!!!:D
     
  12. Aug 1, 2008 at 4:40 AM
    #12
    genxer36

    genxer36 [OP] Lord of Tomfoolery

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    Florida

    The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
    (Squeel, squeel -reference from the movie Deliverence)


    Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
    (Well Missleman, sorry you are going to have to leave Florida)

    It is illegal to sell your children.
    (Damn Ebay! They almost were going to quit costing me money)

    Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
    (The gossip columnists must have lobbied for this law.
    Where else would they get there info?)


    Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
    (Good to know! Sorry fellas, you can't wear your wifes
    evening gown)


    Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
    (Who is the moran that they had to make this a law for?
    But having relations with any other animal is ok?)

    It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
    (Must be the elderly getting back @ the young people.)

    These are for Missleman, Dude you are screwed!

    When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
    (What fun is that?)


    You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
    (The real reason we have ozone problems: New codes
    Code Yellow - Broccoli
    Code Orange - Lima / pinto beans
    Code Red - Loaded Chilli dog with baked beans)

    It is considered an offense to shower naked.
    (Unless the chick is Hott!)

    Oral sex is illegal.
    (As the great band Judas Priest once said I'm " Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law")
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYn5hxeFt10

    You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
    (There again, How else are you going to aquire illegal oral sex?)
     
  13. Aug 1, 2008 at 5:12 AM
    #13
    missileman125fw

    missileman125fw Well-Known Member

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    You mean you can't have sex with a porcupine? Well, damn!
    My favorite is the last one! Only in Florida.
     
  14. Aug 1, 2008 at 10:42 AM
    #14
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey There's an evil monkey in my truck

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  15. Aug 1, 2008 at 10:48 AM
    #15
    eordonez

    eordonez Living vicariously through mjp2

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    OEM All Weather Mats, wheel locks, Toyota Silver Tube steps.....
    Oh my, are all these for real? that's weird, and stupid!
     
  16. Aug 1, 2008 at 11:11 AM
    #16
    Hot Tamale

    Hot Tamale Well-Known Member

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    These were great! Too many good ones to pick a favorite. :D :D
     
  17. Aug 1, 2008 at 2:22 PM
    #17
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    thisis hilarious. whats so funny is that you know alot of them had to be put into place because it actually happened...... poor flying moose...
     
  18. Aug 1, 2008 at 5:51 PM
    #18
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Staff Member

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    FlimFlubberJAM
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    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    True! I saw a sign at a gas station in which there was a face, mouth open, and a gas nozzel pointed at the mouth. The sign had a red circle and line thru it. SO, what dumb ass tried to DRINK the gas??? :eek:
     
  19. Aug 3, 2008 at 6:24 PM
    #19
    genxer36

    genxer36 [OP] Lord of Tomfoolery

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    Sean
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    Excuse the pun! They must be a gas guzzler! :eek:
     
  20. Aug 3, 2008 at 6:24 PM
    #20
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Staff Member

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    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    lmao!!!
     
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