GF issues, suggestions?

she wasnt at that point in time.

i said EVERYONE happy, not everyone BUT her

i should factor in. i factor girls i date into my happiness. its called a give/take. if she asks that i do something (like not cheat on her for instance), then I wont, because it makes her happy. if it made me happy to do it, and i STILL did it, even at her request not to, that would make me the greedy selfish one. relationships are about compromises. if you dont compromise on things, then there would be fighting and havok all the time. i have yet to see any sucessful relationship not have compromises. all the failed ones seem to be one person not willing to do so.

i know couples that make date nights in advanced so they can spend time together. this doesnt seem out of the norm to me. people these days are very busy with both people working....especially in this economy where employers are trying to squeeze the most they can out of their employees. if she was upset, she would have also moved out. i asked her why she was still here after she said she wanted to move out....she said she didnt want to.

 

i havent been stood up on a date with her yet

 

Does she express any displeasure in the lack of time you spend together?

 

Helping?

 

she is tired from staying up late to see her friends the night before. and i would like to see her more than just on sundays (god forbid!)

not quite as much as me. she just says she has a hard time spending time with everyone that wants to spend time with her.

i think if she had a more scheduled job and got home earlier it might be better. we will make dinner plans or gym plans and then her work will make her stay late to finish projects.

 

Here's a good one. Proves it ain't just younger women that will give you fits.

For three months my girl friend and I have been looking at houses. We, that is WE pick one and decide to go for it. So we do.

Turns out my credit is bad enough to raise payments. So we go with just her credit, but my income.

I lose my job (Look up Taylor Bean and Whitaker for a fun read). So the seller says he will make 3 months payments if we buy.

So we go on with buying.

The seller picks a finance company that I wouldn't trust to count my kid's piggy bank. Asses (Franklin Funding) sat on the loan for over a month and never looked at it. When they did finally look at it, THEN they find out FHA has a 3 month "no-flipping" rule. The seller had only owned it for a month, so we were looking at closing in January.

So the girl friend and I tell the seller to find another finance company. They do. This place will have it finished in a week. But, obviously they need copies of all the paperwork (W2 forms bank statements etc.) that the first place did. So we arrange to meet at the new house and give them all that. We get to the new house, the ONLY reason for going there that time is to give them the paperwork, guess what my girlfriend "forgets"? Yup, the paperwork. So the seller agrees to go to where the girl friend works the next day and get it. No problem, we just set things back a day.

Seller goes to the place she works, gets the paperwork. Two days later he calls, the bank noticed she did not give TWO months bank statements. Girl friend is working that night, so I drive there, tell her we need another bank statement. She throws a MAJOR fit! "I am so sick of all this paperwork I cannot believe I have to find something else again!". Well, had she brought what she was told she needed, she would be DONE with paperwork. I keep my mouth shut.

Only set us back 5 days at this point. New finance company does what they promised, not two weeks later we're ready for closing.

Seller wants sale on his books for the end of September. Sets closing for last day last month. Calls girl friend, she "has something else she needs to do, can't do it that day". The something else turns out to be taking her 21 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to the kid's insurance company, she let it lapse and needed to renew. I ask "can't she do it on-line, I've been doing mine on-line for years" The reply: "yeah but it's right down the street so I just took her there".

Now, if it's just down the street, couldn't the kid walk? And if it were a convenience thing, the office is down the street but the computer is in the next bedroom...

Ok, I keep my mouth shut. Closing rescheduled for the 1st of this month. 4:30. Seller ain't happy, but better than no closing.

We get to the table at the attorney's office. We all sit down, attorney, me, my kid, girl friend, seller, and real estate agent.

First paper slid to girl friend. She sits back, starts crying, and says "she just can't do it, she's uncomfortable". Everyone is in shock. She has had three months to back out, chooses last second (literally).

All my shit is at the new house. She even helped me move it all there. I have been sleeping on a cardboard box, with a plastic toolbox for a pillow, in the middle of an empty house. I have cable internet and electricity. Nothing else. Been renting movies from Red Box for something to do all night.

Seller tells me he is going to sue her for everything he has done and wasted over the past three months. I tell her he will, and it's only fair. He put new flooring in she wanted. He painted it as she wanted. He bought us a fridge and a garage door opener. He could have sold it as-is three months ago.

I bite my tongue and don't tell her I will sue her also, for the cost of movers to put all my stuff back in this house, because the seller will want me out in a day and I can't move it all in a day.

Seller tells me to "work on her" over the weekend. She declares she feels "backed in a corner, everyone says do this or get sued". The fact she led everyone on for THREE MONTHS before backing out has nothing to do with it...

So we reschedule for today at 4. She calls me and says she volunteered to take another shift at work since someone called in sick, asks me to pick her up burger king so she can eat while closing. I do.

We all meet there. Papers are passed back and forth. We own the house!

The house is appraised at 135K. We paid 106K. She just made 29,000 dollars in ten minutes of signing paperwork. The seller arranged it with the bank so 1st payment is December 1st. She was given the paperwork to get the 8,000 "1st time homeowner credit" back from the IRS.

So she's up to 2 months free (1440 dollars) plus 3 months paid by seller (2310 dollars) plus 8,000 dollars tax refund plus 29,000 dollars in equity on day one. $40,750 dollars she just made in ten minutes.

Is she happy?

Take a guess.

She stands up. Attorney sticks her hand out to shake. Not gonna happen. Seller sticks his hand out. Not gonna happen. I go to hug her. Not gonna happen.

She storms down the hallway. Slams the door on the way out. Gets in her car and slams the door. I stand there in the parking lot with my mouth open.

She opens the car door and yells out "have fun in the new house by yourself tonight".
I ask why she is acting like this. She yells again "have fun in the new house alone tonight". I ask why she can't move in now. She says "I did this so you and her (points at my daughter) will have a place to live". I said "you have a place to live now too, why don't you move in?". She says "I already have a place to live. You know that. How can I move in?". The attorney says "just because you pay rent at an apartment doesn't mean you have to sleep there, they can't make you do that!". I want to say "WE had a place to live until YOU agreed to buy this new place, moved all my shit into it, then backed out!" But I don't.

Girl friend is under the impression she will be making payments on two places. She has been told SEVERAL times 1st two months are free, seller is paying next three months after that. Means no payment on new place is due until March 2010. The lease where she is at now expires in April. Leaves March and half of April to pay at new place while she is still paying at her old place. I am paying that.

She has a 21 year old daughter living with her. The kid is in college and has her own car. So, what's the problem with letting the kid live in her old place, while she lives at the new place? Let me answer: THERE IS NO FUCKING PROBLEM, OTHER THAT IT KILLS HER EXCUSE TO BE PISSED OFF FOR NO REASON!

This has been three months of total hell, and apparently it ain't over yet.

My girl friend is is 48.

Or maybe it's 4.8

Not sure

 

"if she asks that i do something (like not cheat on her for instance), then I wont, because it makes her happy." - Roy

So does that mean you cheat until asked not to?

 

You certainly don't want to make her choose between you and her friends or family, you would likely lose. Try giving her some space and see if she comes around. If not, kick her to the curb

 

an extreme example i would never cheat.

i agree. thats why i never said i want her to choose me over them...just a way for her to still see them and me, just at better times.