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Hilarious Criagslist AD

Discussion in 'General Automotive' started by NateH., Feb 9, 2010.

  1. NateH.

    NateH. [OP] Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Member:
    #21745
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    16
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    Male
    First Name:
    Nathan
    Tucson, AZ
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 Longbed TRD Sport Magnetic Gray
    Thought this was hilarious!

    http://mohave.craigslist.org/cto/1584372342.html :)

    Toyota 4runner $3000 obo (havasu)
    Date: 2010-02-03, 12:41PM MST


    OK, let me start off by saying this 4runner is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women) . My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this brute of a yota would look like Tom Selleck . It is just that manly .

    It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on . It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things . No, that's what your Prius is for . If that's the kind of 4 wheeler you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now . I mean it . Just stop .

    This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis . Made when a toyota was built for a REAL man. Back before the times of superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is) and if the technology HAD been around, they wouldn't have put that limp-wristed crap in this baby! .

    There's only 200,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

    No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need . It has a V6 3.0 engine to outrun the cops (OR out pull). It's got a special blood/gore resistant seat cover . It even has a first-aid kit in the back . You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself . The 4runner also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time . It's saved my bacon more than once .

    My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $3000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers . And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1,000 for it . That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab . Would it hurt? Hell yeah . Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore .

    Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see . If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me . I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you . And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a glass of Kentucky Bourbon while listening to Johnny Cash .

    To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in two strips of rawhide. I wrapped these around my wrists as bracers to keep my hands on the wheel when I had to control this monster. Use them for what ever you feel fit, I'm just making a suggestion.

    you can reach me with a phone call or a text to 928******* or you can reply to my email if your serious hit me up and you can come check it out.
     
  2. badguybuster

    badguybuster Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2009
    Member:
    #14475
    Messages:
    2,455
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    Male
    West (by GOD) Virginia
    Vehicle:
    2008 Tundra Off Road SR5
    6000K HID Headlights 6000k HID Fog Lights Window visors (all 4) Tri-Fold Tonno Bedlined Rockers Bedlined Bumpers Bilstein 5100 Toytec 1/2" spacers 3" TSB Leafs and AAL's (Toytec) Differential 1" Drop Sway Bar Relocators BHLM Mod Debadged Pro Comp 7089s Hankook Dynapro 35" M/T's Billett Grill 55 watt fog lights in grill 55 watt fog lights on Pre-Runner Light Bar Rear Bilstein 5100's Flowmaster Super 10's Yellow Fog Light Mod Titanium Burl Wood Grain Dash Mod Leather Arm Rest Mod TRD Steering wheel Mod Painted Engine Cover Painted Fuse Box TRD Seat Belt Covers Bed Light Mod Extended/Braided Brake Lines Back up light mod
    Now, THAT is a salesman!!!:D
     
  3. NateH.

    NateH. [OP] Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Member:
    #21745
    Messages:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nathan
    Tucson, AZ
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 Longbed TRD Sport Magnetic Gray
    Love the fact he didn't even wash the mud and dirt off of it.
     
  4. Crom

    Crom Time is precious; use it wisely

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2009
    Member:
    #18782
    Messages:
    4,043
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. Sir
    San Diego, CA
    Vehicle:
    2009 Double Cab 4x4 Off Road
    A.R.E. MX Shell & Yakima Rack, Stubbs HD-SKO Rock Sliders, JBA UCA's & OME 885 Coils and nitrochargers, Flat BajaRack, Kenwood VHF/UHF Radio, Aux Battery, Solar Panels, L-Track everywhere, Goodyear Duratracs, Four-Leaf pack, Secured tailgate, 7-pin relocation, Inverter 400W all time, In-cab 110v outlets, Rear-seat 12v outlets., Steering shaft TSB, anytime fogs, DTRL toggle switch, aux turn signals, Diff Breather, ImMrYo mirror bracket, ABS Kill switch, (2) Kid Car Seats, and a Glock 23 with night sights.
    That was very good! ROFL!!!
    The 4runner also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time

    Image from Libyan terrorists in the movie "Back to the Future"
    [​IMG]
    My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $3000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers . And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1,000 for it . That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab . Would it hurt? Hell yeah ...
     
  5. jdkeller

    jdkeller How many words can be fit in this s

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2008
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    #11040
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    13,034
    Gender:
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    First Name:
    Jonathan
    Inland Empire, Ca
    Vehicle:
    2008 Tacoma Prerunner TRD Offroad
    Dome light LED, 6000k HID Headlights and fogs, Grillcraft black mesh, rear 5100's, Total Chaos UCA's, 285/75/16 BFG KM2's, Spidertrax spacers, Blacked out emblems, cb,kenwood tm270 ham radio, All Pro 3" leaf pack, Fox 2.0 coilovers, Revenge Fab Sliders, u bolt flip kit, Pioneer avh4200, bed bar with light and antenna, Wet Okoles, Weathertech Mats, Wet Okole Armrests, Rear KR Fab bumper, bed mat, N-Fab spare tire carrier with full size spare on 16" TRD rim, Bedlinered flares and grille. Camburg Spindles, All Pro front fenders.
    lol. good stuff
     
  6. Avman2119

    Avman2119 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2010
    Member:
    #30725
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    137
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    Male
    First Name:
    Alex
    Colorado
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tacoma TRD Sport
    sold like a true toyota should be. muddy :)
     
  7. yotanator

    yotanator Not your average girl

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Member:
    #29242
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    746
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    Female
    First Name:
    Katie
    Sonora, CA
    Vehicle:
    2006 SR5 4WD
    Custom built and painted grill, iPod interface, TRD shift knob, TRD cat back exhaust, Flowmaster muffler, 285/75/R16 Mickey Thompson Baja Radials, blacked out emblems, 3" Daystar Lift, Halo headlights, Hunter 4x4 bull bar, 1 1/2 wheel spacers, rooftop light bar, KC daylighters
    hahaha
     
  8. Blue Ten

    Blue Ten Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Member:
    #25077
    Messages:
    147
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Gregg
    Candler, NC
    Vehicle:
    '10 TRD Off Road
    Undercover Hard Tonneau Cover, WeatherTech Bug Shield, and Toyota Running Boards.
    Awesome!
     
  9. 619Tacoma

    619Tacoma Baja bound

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2008
    Member:
    #10382
    Messages:
    1,002
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Call me Rocco
    San Diego, CA
    Vehicle:
    07 PreRunner SR5, Sport, 4dr
    - Billstein 5100's all around with OME 885 coil springs. - K&N Air Filter - HID Headlights & Fogs - Kenwood Stereo & Infinity Speakers - CB Radio, - Fog On Anytime mod - Anti Tailgate theft mod. More comming...
    HAHAHAHAHA. That's hilarious!
     
  10. Dellosa89

    Dellosa89 Love peace and Taco Grease

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2008
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    First Name:
    Brian
    Murrieta CA
    Vehicle:
    07 Prerunner TRD Off Road
    Fox 2.5 Coilovers, Camburg 1.25" UCA's, Icon RR, Icon aal,EVS foam bump stops, Borla Catback, HID Headlights and fogs, Defiant light bar, 3 hella 700 hid, Satellite Radio, Sony hu with 10'' sub, custom jetski rack, TRD seat covers, secondary air filter removed.
    x2
    That has to be one of the best descriptions i have ever read. It makes you want to scramble some cash together and buy it.
     
  11. Whataboutbob

    Whataboutbob Allow myself to introduce myself...

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2008
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    356
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    Male
    city of champions,Boston
    Vehicle:
    4x4 sr5 v6 6-spd.
    seatbelt ding mod,billet alum. shft knob,K&N air filter, alum. pedal covers
    could not stop laughing....first aid kit was the best.
     
  12. Afwrestler1986

    Afwrestler1986 Well-Known Member

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    Matt
    Johnstown, NY
    Vehicle:
    01 trd 4X4 ex cab manual
    Gray wire, Some lights in the bed area, and some character marks throughout.
    Nice find.
     
  13. SamSter0077

    SamSter0077 Happy Camper

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    Aug 7, 2008
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    #8396
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    1,698
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    Male
    Katy, TX
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 TRD OR
    OME 886 Coils, and Struts, Rear Toytec TSB AAL/ OME shock absorbers, Fog Lamp anytime mod, Voyager Brake Controller.
  14. mws4ua

    mws4ua I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

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    Matt
    Birmingham
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    Sold my truck Jan '13... Still hang around.
    I laughed until I cried. GREAT find!

    OP... You need to copy the whole ad and put it in your first post. Eventually that link won't work anymore b/c it'll expire and I think it's funny enough that it should live on forever here at TW.
     
  15. NateH.

    NateH. [OP] Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
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    Nathan
    Tucson, AZ
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 Longbed TRD Sport Magnetic Gray
    Part of me wants to copy and paste in a reply so we can enjoy it long after the ad has been removed. Every time I go back and read it I laugh. Just what I needed on a Tuesday at work.
     
  16. mws4ua

    mws4ua I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

    Joined:
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    Matt
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    Sold my truck Jan '13... Still hang around.

    Don't do it down here... Edit your first post so it's what people see first.
     
  17. Muy Grande

    Muy Grande Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2009
    Member:
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    First Name:
    John
    Dallas, TX; RGV, TX
    Vehicle:
    06 DC TRD
    Suspension: DHoes up front, Dakar and OME out back. Audio: Alpine w205 w/ pair of Alpine Amps, Image Dynamic 6.5 Component Speakers up front and Image Dynamic Subs in the Back. Armor: ARB Bull Bar, Rocktek rear bumper and custom rock sliders. Other: Rigid Industries LED Light Bar, Platinum DieHard Battery, BlueSea Fuse Block, rear lights, bed lights, leds inside.
    It will live on as a monument to your machismo! Priceless. :D
     
  18. NateH.

    NateH. [OP] Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
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    #21745
    Messages:
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    Male
    First Name:
    Nathan
    Tucson, AZ
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 Longbed TRD Sport Magnetic Gray
    Posted it up top.
     
  19. mws4ua

    mws4ua I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Member:
    #6624
    Messages:
    6,515
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Matt
    Birmingham
    Vehicle:
    Sold my truck Jan '13... Still hang around.
    I sent a message to the guy telling him we got a kick out of his ad and wishing him the best of luck with the sale.
     
  20. NAAC3TACO

    NAAC3TACO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2008
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    #8350
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    Male
    Vehicle:
    2014 SR5 DCLB 4x4
    Color matched door handles, Weathertech mats, rubber bed mat.
    Awesome. :D
     
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