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I don't know about blindness, but masturbation can be dangerous

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by chris4x4, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. Mar 10, 2009 at 12:59 PM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    FlimFlubberJAM
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    Let's just say, 'hypothetically', that I decided to flogg my dolphin last night just before retiring for the evening. And let's just say that when I went to pee in the morning, some dried manchowder might have dried up around the opening to my prick, blocking the flow of urine. And let's just say that that blockage, might have caused urine to back up inside my rod for a second or two, creating an unusually fierce spray of piss pressure once said blockage was busted. And let's just say that this high-velocity piss-stream shot off at a 45-degree angle to the left because of said blockage. Let's just imagine that this 45-degree angle cause me to hit the ear of the cat who was perched not too far away, causing said cat to 'flip out,' screech, and perform a 4-legged leap with a half-twist and quarter roll (diffuculty of 6.8). Let's just say there may have been an empty glass resting on the back of the toilet, which may or may not have been tossed off the back of the toilet by said cat in the aforementioned jump. That glass, we might say, falls really close to my foot, lodging a small shard of glass into my left foot. This lodging of glass shard may have caused me to immediately grab said left foot, creating a situation of hopping on one leg (while still relieving myself, mind you) on a tile surface which is becoming increasingly wetter by the second. Let's just say that it only takes a few hops on one foot on a slippery surface to end a physical event of such fashion. AND LET'S JUST SAY that once my foot was taken out from underneath me, that I crashed into the shower door, knocking it off its tracks and causing me to fall in the shower and somehow ending in a back down, face up position, legs elevated, with blood running down my leg, pee streaming down my body to my neck, and a new head-welt with massive headache to boot.

    Let this be a lesson to you, next time you feel like rubbing your pole.



    Found from here:
    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/atl/84259258.html
     
  2. Mar 10, 2009 at 1:01 PM
    #2
    Jester243

    Jester243 mod status????

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  3. Mar 10, 2009 at 1:05 PM
    #3
    Dark Knight

    Dark Knight Well-Known Member

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    funniest shit i had read in a long time.
     
  4. Mar 10, 2009 at 1:10 PM
    #4
    mjp2

    mjp2 Living vicariously though myself Moderator

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    I like how you posted in the Atlanta section of Craigslist so we wouldn't think it was you.

    Nice try. :cool:
     
  5. Mar 10, 2009 at 1:11 PM
    #5
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    Interstate underpass
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    Not as many as the 98..
    I was literally LOL.. that was my comedy relief for the day
     
  6. Mar 10, 2009 at 1:19 PM
    #6
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    dam.....:anonymous:


    And I substituted "Cat" for "Dog".....
     
  7. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:15 PM
    #7
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    haha! that was hilarious but i was disappointed at the end. i was hoping that was something you did chris
     
  8. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:27 PM
    #8
    eordonez

    eordonez Living vicariously through mjp2

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    hahahaha
     
  9. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:30 PM
    #9
    neslerrah

    neslerrah Taco lovin'

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  10. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:47 PM
    #10
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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  11. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:50 PM
    #11
    tacomaman06

    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Enforcer

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    getting there....
    and the lesson of the day is........................always take a piss after you rub one out!!:D
     
  12. Mar 10, 2009 at 2:57 PM
    #12
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Had tons on the old Taco's.... new Tundra is pretty stock
  13. Mar 10, 2009 at 3:07 PM
    #13
    JDMcQ

    JDMcQ Well-Known Member

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    That was so funny I am actually crying.
     
  14. Sep 22, 2009 at 8:19 AM
    #14
    nad

    nad mmmm tacos!

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    my god did i just lmao reading this
     
  15. Sep 22, 2009 at 8:30 AM
    #15
    SLOH

    SLOH Well-Known Member

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    hahah great story, glad i can start my day out the right way...with TW haha
     
  16. Sep 22, 2009 at 8:37 AM
    #16
    Packman73

    Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

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    Bilstein 5100's (front set @ .85"), OME 885's, chris4x4 anti-Taco-lean spacer on driver's side, Total Chaos UCAs, Rear Leaf Spring TSB, Toytec AALs, Black FJ TT Wheels, BFG 285/75R 16 AT Tires, TRD Exhaust, Viper Alarm, Fog Light Mod, De-badged, Blue LED Dome Light, EZ Clamped Tailgate, Wet Okoles, Satoshi Grill, 5% Tint, Engine Tick Fix, Black Rear Bumper, Black Center Valence, Exhaust Cut At Axle, Thanks for all the help chris4x4!
    Wow; that's a lot of hypothetical. Almost too much...hmmm...;)
     
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