I need to vent..you all are the only people around

Sorry, but this smells like a story of adultery, not boredom. Get your computer checked over and trace the email trail. Do what others have said about getting your legal and financial shit covered so she can start paying child support and alimony and half of whatever current debts you have. Roll with your gut & brain not your heart at this time. It's survival mode time for you and the kids. Don't sugar coat anything for the kids, lay it out there. I know all of this is much easier for us to say than it is for you to do but it has to be done. I won't go into a bunch of detail but let's just say I have gone thru similar shit with the host organism of my offspring, only there wasn't 20 yrs of life wrapped up in it beforehand. Please do yourself a favor and don't put off finding the best attorney for this you can find/possibly afford. This is one time that you really really need to spend more on something than you think you should. Lock her down for everything you possibly can and even go for supervised visits only for the kids too so she doesn't disappear with them. Hoping whoever she's galavanting around with isn't gonna cause another blow to your situation too. Good luck and hang in there.

 

While you're lawyerin' up over the bank account....talk to him/her about child support too....you've got her on the line for 8 years-worth by my calculation...Child Support works both ways!

 

what everyone else says man. You need to get your financials and children taken care of like NOW. Make sure she doesnt get a dime more out of you. And make sure you get a lawyer to vget all the mon ey back that she took.

This really sucks man. Be strong. Shit happens in life, but paople get thru it, and that makes them who they are. Get stronger by getting thru this.

 

She's hooped. She left with the cash for a different pasture. She is so screwed she has no idea. You get the kids in the next day or two you got her. Check and mate ! You may end up going a bit in debt over it but you'll have sweet revenge when they find her and force her to pay up.

The best revenge a guy can have when that happens is let the other guy have her. She got a shit list on you twenty years long but the new one is new, no shit list yet. I bet in a year his list is longer than yours is now at twenty years.. Sooner or later he will realize he's screwed. Long distance and in real life it's like so totally different.

The court will take a very dim view of dashing off with the family assents when there is kids involved. You just got to get it together and go for it. Take no prisoners. There is no going back so you only have forward to go. Sucks but this is what women do. They don't say a word, they just combust. One day poof, gone.

Like it might not make sense but really is has to be done. Think of it of a second, what better way to see her off then give her the gift of some major stress of loosing in court. That will get the new fling off to a solid start. The going away present that just keeps on taking and taking and taking.

 

That's horrible.

My mom discovered the internet and started chatting with people all over the US. She'd hear about peoples lives and I think began to envy them for what she didn't have. She turned 43-45ish and had one of those "my life is dull, things have to change" talks with my dad. He changed more than I ever thought was possible. To keep it short, about a year later it wasn't enough for my mom and she said she wanted to take a break. My dad said let's make it permanent.

They've been divorced for over 7 years now and my mom still cries about it. My dad moved on and has re-married. Obviously their situation is different than yours (with similarities). I guess I'm just trying to tell you that sometimes it's the people closest to us who do the most unexpected, selfish, most stupid shit you've ever seen.

Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself (couseling and lawyer) so you can take care of your kids. I truly am extremely sorry that this is going on with your family. Stay strong man.

 

Phew- Stuff like this just boggles my mind. My wife and I have been married just under 3 years now- In just that time we've built so much of a life, had our son, etc etc.
And to think that someone like your wife could do all that and so much more- and then just up and bail out?? That's horrible. The money thing s even worse.

I hope you find her, get it all back, get more, and then have a wonderful life with your kids.

 

thats horrible man. im sorry to hear that. just keep your chin up and surround yourself with friends and family. you will meet someone else in time. im sorry about that again man.

 

Women are typically like monkeys swinging through the trees, they don't let go of one vine until they have hold of the next one. Chances are good that she managed to get herself hooked up with another dude before she left you.

Does she work? Did she show up for work today?

 

This is happening more and more and more. the feminazis say it's because middle-aged women are coming into their own and realizing they don't need men anymore. What it really is is a symptom of the greater problem where there is no accountability or sense of responsibility anymore. There are no consequences for people just walking away from their families, their car payments, their mortgage, their jobs, etc.

I hope that in your case you were at least grown and out of the house, and all your siblings too if you have them, before this happened.

 

I'd hack her damn email account! Also check your phone bills and see who she has been calling.

CYA from all angles. Lock the financials down and collect all the bank statements and bills for everything for the last year/ 6 months. Even if you can't bring yourself to pursue legal action at least you will have an idea of what has been going on.

Last definately call your sister and get her up to speed. Your kids deserve a really good vacation before it hits the fan, and you are going to need that time to get yourself squared away and be prepared to get them through this.

 

you & the kids are in my prayers!

 

Very well written.

Sorry to hear about everything. You are just going to have to keep living. Chances are, she will try to come back. You might want to think about that, if she does try to.

 

I can't add much to what's been said. That's a terrible situation, and I hope you're able to pull through it.

+1 to the idea that you need to spend time with your kids. They were just abandoned, too.

+1 to the idea that you need a lawyer.

+1 to the idea that you need to change banks immediately. You don't need her coming in and skeetching your next paycheck, too.

 

If mr money bags is such a catch then why clean the bank account out. She may have used it to get herself a lawyer already but if that is the case you'll know soon enough. I'd say don't even bother trying to figure it out and just go full steam ahead with child custody. It's imparative you get that done instantly. If you are in the house and the kids go to school from that house it's a shoe in. A simple formality. Court does not care about details and who did what when, they will only look at what is in the best interest of the children so be in there best interest.

 

damn, shocking to say the least

Best bet would be to talk to her, nothing goods comes from being secretive.

 

I say fu%k that chick, take the children, she must not care for them to just leave. Sounds like she messing with someone else and didnt have the guts as a person to tell you so she ran. Drop her and move on with your like, make her jealous in the end.

 

This is exactly what happens with women though. Your married for christ sake but your the last on the list to find out. Women will tell complete strangers on the net what's going on but not the person there married to. They take advice from people that they don't even know.

Just give up, your doomed trying to figure it out. You'll never ever figure it out anyway cause it will make no sense once you do figure it out, so just move on with your life.

Time to Trade UP ! For a new faster speedier model !

 

best of luck on this situation. theres not anymore advise to give, that hasnt been said yet! stay strong, prayers r with u & ur children.

 

Ridiculous and full of fail.

I feel for you man. Times heals all wounds even though at the time it doesnt seem like it. From the sound of her, you are way better off.

freakin women are the spawn of the devil.

 

^^^thats not neccesarily bad advice, just not what most of us would do.