i want kids, she doesnt!

try and work it out.if that doesnt work,leave because you will only resent(??) her and shit will get ugly. your still young so now is the time to make a move. good luck

 

I would only say end it if your not going to lose half your shit.

 

I wouldn't worry about kids...you're not the one with a countdown till you lose the ability to.

 

My first marrage was the 5 happiest months of my life (sarcasim). We were together for 3 years before we got married. Things didn't work out. She changed for some reason after the marrage. Never could figure that one out. Went my own way and everything worked out fine. I would never have cheated on her though. Not saying that you should leave her but it's not healthy to start a new relationship before ending one.

Just chill for a while and give things a chance.

Cheers.

 

My wife & I adopted our 4 yr old in 07' & eventhough my wife listens to me less now than ever {married 13 yrs this Oct} It is the best thing thats happened to me.I keep telling my wife "lets adopt again" but she wants to wait. I've had thoughts like cheating too but when you think about what you have to lose {truck ,house ,kids....TRUCK!!!!} its not worth it.Yuo need to work it out.Good luck

 

in all honesty ive known this girl since i was like 10 or so, both of us went to a small school in texas then we went to A&M and i moved up here afterwards 6 months later she transfers up here to teach. shes not new to me at all. seems like weve been married for the past 5 years!

 

Ya man, I understand what your saying, but the cheating isnt worth it. You will feel like shit after. Just talk to her more, im sure things will change. Thats just how women are.

 

Talk to your wife. Maybe there are some things on her mind that makes her not want to have children. Like you said, a year ago she wanted to have a family. Give it time, talk to her and see why she does not want to have children. However long it does take, I am sure she will see the good about having children.

 

First off don't cheat on your wife, Second, my kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have a 3-1/2 yr old girl & a 1-1/2 year old boy, I would not trade them for anything. Third, my wife had 2 c-secions & they def. took a toll on her body. She is very worried about the perm. damage to her stomach muscels & they way it looks, but it doesn't bother me in the least. MAYBE you just need to convince her that you are not concered with how she looks afterward.

 

life is short, just do what you need to do.

 

Ever think of poking holes in your own condoms?

 

Women are fickle. Wait a few months and she'll change her mind again. Just make sure you knock her up then before she changes her mind for a third time.

 

What about coaching some sports team or becoming a big brother. There are productive mutually beneficial ways of spending time with children without destroying your marriage. Do you have nieces/nephews? Maybe she needs a sincere demonstration of your wants before committing to it. Just ideas, patience & consideration of her feelings about the matter will most likely get you there in the long run. IMO, don't force it, live & let things develop on their own.

 

I can't imagine why she feels that way.......

 

ok i will go to sleep

 

NO!! Definitely not the correct option. I can personally tell you from firsthand experience. The hurt and torment that this causes cannot be measured. I found out my wife of 5 years had been cheating on me. Talk it through with her, let her speak on the issue without interrupting her then you give her your take on the subject.
Knowing this can be a dealbreaker you have to discuss this rationally. Hope it works out for you.

 

Be HONEST here now... you don't have to say it to anyone here on the board - just to yourself.

How much time will you be spending in caring for the baby/children? Is it going to be soley her responsibility (I got stuck doing it all and wouldn't change it... well maybe have made him do more). My ex did NOTHING at all to care for the kids. He wanted them and then did nothing to help out with them.

Will she have to ask you to watch the kids when she goes out, but you will just say you are going out. There is a BIG difference. Will you be the one to drop the kids off at day care on your way to work? Will you be the one to take them to the dr appt's? Will you be the one to give them their baths? The midnight feedings? Change diapers?

If you are not willing to give 100% of yourself to caring for YOUR children, then I don't blame her... Why should she be the only one who's life has to change?

 

Cheating & having kids has nothing to do with each other.

You will have to figure this out on your own. Nobody can tell you what to do.

I would do more discussions with her. Maybe she isn't ready now. Find out what changed her mind so quickly.

 

this is a deal breaker for me. If you want kids and she doesn't, leave. end it now before you have too much to leave - assett wise. my wife went through a short period of questioning if she really wanted kids. Turns out that she was just really scared of screwing them up. we are planning on having one next year sometime.

Good luck to you.

 

We all think about cheating.. well maybe not cheating but seeing a hot broad and thinking "I'd like to bang that!". But acting on it is where the line is drawn.
You need to talk it out with the wife. Ask her why the sudden change in heart? Don't rush into kids. it has to be a mutual agreement, or want. Some people want to enjoy being married first, before kids upset the whole balance of everything.