life advice

I’m 34, in the army. Been in 16 years. Been single 9 years. Own two properties....I have a girlfriend but have some major doubts.

Why in the world would I ever want a wife or kids. Someone please explain this to me. I don’t seem to grasp the reason why I don’t want this.

 

It doesn’t matter why anyone else in the world would want a wife and kids. It only matters what you want. Follow your gut.

 

Follow your bliss

 

I’m exhausted. I really just want to be left alone in my personal life. I really don’t know what I want to do. Simplicity.

 

Sounds like you’re not in the right relationship and should get out.

 

I’m a little younger and people including my parents keep asking why I’m not actively dating or trying to find someone. I honestly like my alone time with my 2 dogs. Like you said, I enjoy the simplicity.

 

My professional life is beating the living shit out of me. Things with the girl isn’t bad but I don’t feel like I can give her what she needs.

 

Hmmm let her make that decision.

 

And bingo, my management job is mentally draining. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do majority of the time but it takes its toll.

 

Okay... I’m not sure I feel like giving her what she needs.

 

Seek some counseling. Or change your situation--get out of the Army if it's beating you down. Figure out what you like to do and find a way to get paid to do it. Or are you using your professional situation to avoid a relationship commitment?

 

I have 5 years until I get a PENSION for the rest of my life. You’re ducking crazy.

 

You sound apathetic about the relationship, seems like you’re wasting your time.

 

Live life on your own terms. Don’t ever let another person try to make your life how they want it to be. I’m married now but still never buy into the “happy wife = happy life.” Happy life means happy both of us. We have that mutual understanding and that’s why we married. Take life a day at a time.

 

+1

 

Then you just sound like you need a rationale to end the relationship.

 

I’d say it depends what your doubts are, and if they’re really the doubts you think you have, or if they’re doubts that your subconscious mind is making up in order to talk you out of confronting your personal demons. Not suggesting it’s one way or the other, but I know we do this as humans all the time.

Having a kid has been both the single most challenging and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Hands down. I can say for absolute certain that I thought I had loved, before I had a kid. Now I can say for sure that I know what love is.

The relationship with the wife is hard work and it is often that way for long periods. I’ve grown from it for sure.

That’s all I got for now...

 

PM me I can give you a few reasons....

 

Sometimes you gotta leave everything behind, move to Tijuana, and live there for a year to really figure out who you really are and what you want to do with your life.

 

As crazy as somebody asking for life advice on the internet?