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??Life expectancy for stage 4 lung cancer and brain cancer??

Discussion in 'Health' started by Zac808, May 26, 2012.

  1. May 26, 2012 at 10:35 PM
    #1
    Zac808

    Zac808 [OP] Custom User Title

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    Ever have a loved one or friend w/ stage 4 lung cancer that moved to the brain? My mother-in-law has it and I'm wondering what her life expectancy is? I know everyone is different. I read a lot of folks make it to 4-6 mths then eventually slip into a coma and die.

    I don't want to sound insesitive but I'm just trying to make a decision on whether to short-sale my house and move to Tampa. I really don't want to take a credit hit for the next two years. I have plenty of leave that I'm willing to burn up once we know it's her time.

    Currently, she has dimentia, very little motor skills, needs help walking, showering, using the restroom, pretty much 24 hour care. Doctor says he's pretty sure cancer has gotten to her Kidneys and spine as well. She just finished radiation for the brain cancer and will start chemotherapy for the other cancers this week. We can never get a straight answer from the doctor on how long she will have. Seems to me like he knows we will switch to Hospice and then he gets no more insurance money.

    My wife has been providing 24 hour care for the past 5 weeks and it's really starting to take a toll on her. My father-in-law is an alcoholic who doesn't do shit. Verbally abused my wife and her sister growing up and still does to this day. M-F while he's at work everything is fine. As soon as he comes home, all hell breaks loose. Especially, if he has a drink.

    Any personal experiences or words of wisdom is greatly appreciated.
     
  2. May 26, 2012 at 11:13 PM
    #2
    ian408

    ian408 Well-Known Member

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    I was in a similar situation some years ago (MIL terminally ill and FIL an alcoholic). As a family, we were able to get FIL to dry out for the remainder of MIL's life. It made everything a lot easier for my ex-MIL. It was done as one of those ambush interventions. He was away for a month and between my ex, her sister (and her husband), and I. We were able to take care of her while he sought treatment.

    As for the life expectancy question, I don't know that's an easy one to answer as every patient is different. Some make it much longer than others while some pass quickly. Some of the symptoms you describe could be the result of the radiation treatment and she could get better for a while. As I say, there's no good answer.

    Remember that even though your FIL is kind of a mean drunk, he's suffering too-that doesn't excuse his behavior-just keep it in mind. Maybe you could come to an agreement about drinking so that he can be a better husband/father in what's surely a difficult time for the family.

    I wish there were a solid answer for you. I know this, I wouldn't do a short sale if you can avoid it.

    All the best during what must be, a very trying time.
     
  3. May 28, 2012 at 3:17 PM
    #3
    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

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    :( Sorry to hear Zac. Life expectancy varies from person to person. There are all kinds of variables that affect the outcome.

    Hope you can get the FIL to dry out and not be a pain while you are all going through this.

    Thoughts and prayers going up for your wife's family.
     
  4. May 28, 2012 at 3:50 PM
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    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 Well-Known Member

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    Susan is right, you never know. Honestly, i would talk to your local hospice. They will be more reputable for that kind of answer. Good luck with everything.
     
  5. May 29, 2012 at 9:01 AM
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    aficianado

    aficianado Well-Known Member

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    sorry for the horrific news.

    damn. i just went thru this with my Stepdad. doc said, 6 months (stage 4 lung cancer)..internet said 6 months, everyone said six months.

    my stepdad went about 9 months.

    my advice? dont eff up your credit over this. she wouldnt want you to. i would kick FIL to the curb.

    btw, your wife is an ANGEL!
     
  6. May 30, 2012 at 1:52 PM
    #6
    Zac808

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    Thanks.

    Thank You

    Yes she is. I just wish her dad saw it that way and stop treating her like $hit. She has power of attorney and it drives him nuts.
     
  7. Jun 7, 2012 at 9:45 AM
    #7
    Zac808

    Zac808 [OP] Custom User Title

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    She was admitted into hospital two days ago for high fever. They found ulcers up and down her throat and stomach. Today they say she has congestive heart failure. Dr. says not looking good. Im heading out to there fri or sat. Wife said to bring nice clothes for her and myself..........
     
  8. Jun 7, 2012 at 9:57 AM
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    ian408

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    All the best to you and your family Zac.

    Sooner is better if you can get there.
     
  9. Jun 7, 2012 at 2:38 PM
    #9
    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

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    So sorry to hear Zac. Prayers for your wife and family.
     
  10. Sep 11, 2019 at 4:30 AM
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    Clearwater Bill

    Clearwater Bill Retire from work, but not from life.

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    Zac, so sorry for the situation.

    But be grateful for the imminent passing of your MIL.

    Here's why.

    Your description of your MIL shows quality of life is long gone. IMHO the Dr is insensitive to even want to continue any treatment beyond palliative care.

    Would I be correct in assuming she's not in some trial situation at Moffit?

    Hospice should be involved NOW to give your wife physical relief. They can care for her in home if needed/wanted, but based on your description, in their facility will be much better for a couple of reasons. Sounds like your MIL won't know she's not at home anyway and she and your wife can be separated from your FIL. It reduces risk of interference by your inebriated FIL with the work/equipment Hospice would need to be doing in the home. If he comes to the facility and created issues, they can have him carted off.

    Give your wife a lot of attention in the coming months. She'll need it.

    Blessings to both of you on this tough journey.

    PS. I'm not speaking from a cold clinical view here. I've been through some forms of this 5 times now. Parents, in laws and wife. It's never easy. May your path be clear.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
  11. Sep 11, 2019 at 4:39 AM
    #11
    JohnT43

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    My wife passed last year, she died of the same thing. There isnt much you can do but take care of her and make her comfortable. My wife lasted about ten months after doing immune therapy and gamma knife for the brain tumors. It took alot out of me and I miss her. Best of luck to you.
     

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