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Life's little lessons

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Jester243, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. Apr 14, 2009 at 7:40 AM
    #1
    Jester243

    Jester243 [OP] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Joined:
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    Member:
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    Messages:
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    First Name:
    Dan
    Spokane, WA
    Vehicle:
    2008 Doublecab 4x4 IRP
    Lifetime LED 70W headlights 10-8-14 (set #2) Sylvania Silverstar fogs, front side windows tinted 27% to match the others, added Tacomaworld.com sticker, suspension TSB as of 7-21-09, Devil Horns by Andres, BFG's, Alpine with Bluetooth and Ipod contols, Rear view mirror relocation bracket, Ultragauge...
    Lesson 1:
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
    shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
    towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
    next-door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
    towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
    naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
    gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he
    owes me?"

    Moral of the story :
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
    your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
    avoidable exposure.

    ******************
    Lesson 2:
    A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
    forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
    controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

    The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
    hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
    The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"
    Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129
    It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
    Moral of the story:
    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
    opportunity.

    *****************************
    Lesson 3:
    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
    lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
    comes out.
    The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
    Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
    Puff! She's gone.

    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
    relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
    Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

    Puff! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
    The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of the story:
    Always let your boss have the first say.
    *****************************
    Lesson 4
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,

    Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
    The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
    sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story:
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high > >> up.

    ******************************
    Lesson 5:
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
    the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
    energy."
    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
    bull.
    They're packed with nutrients."
    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
    enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
    after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
    after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
    the tree.
    He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

    Moral of the story:

    Bull might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
    ***********
    Lesson 6:
    A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the
    bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
    there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
    As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
    realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
    lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
    Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
    and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Morals of the story:

    (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
    (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
     
  2. Apr 14, 2009 at 7:51 AM
    #2
    KraQr

    KraQr WoodsDweller

    Joined:
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    #12021
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    First Name:
    Dave
    Destin, Fl
    sold Tacoma, driving a Ford Raptor now.
    Words of wisdom to live by. Funny how its the simple things that make the most sense.
     
  3. Apr 14, 2009 at 7:52 AM
    #3
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Staff Member

    Joined:
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    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    Great stuff!
     
  4. Apr 14, 2009 at 11:46 AM
    #4
    Brunes

    Brunes abides. Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2008
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    Rotorhead
    Big Easy, USA
    Vehicle:
    08 Red/Graphite and Satin Black
    Inside: Tint, Wet Okole 1/2 Piped Red/Black Covers, Black Weathertech Digital Fit Mats, URD Short Throw w/ TWM Weighted Knob, USA Spec iPod adapter. Outside: 4300K Retro w/ Angel Eyes and Red Shrouds, 5000K Blazer Fog Light Retrofit, Debadge, Bed Locking Handle, Satin Black Rims Performance: TRD/Steigmeier Blower w/ 2.7 Pulley. 668 Injectors and 320 LPH AEM Fuel pump. URD UCON and 7th Injector. DTLT Headers, URD Y-Pipe, Wicked Flow Muffler. Suspension: Both: OME Shocks Front: 886X's and TC UCAs Rear: Dakars Armor: Relentless Front Bumper Relentless High Clearance Rear w/ Tire/Rotopax Swing Out Relentless Front, Mid, and TCase skids BAMF Diff Skid Recovery and Spares: Fullsize Spare Tire 2x2 gal Rotopax 1x1 gal Rotopax 1x1 gal Water Rotopax Warn 9.5XP-S Winch Hi-Lift Extreme 60" Ironman Off-Road Recovery Kit Upcoming: ATO Gas Tank Skid and Sliders w/ kickout. ATO Shackle Flip Kit. Down the line: Front/Rear ARB Lockers w/ OBA. 4.56 Gears
    That was a riot!! Nice post.
     
  5. Apr 14, 2009 at 11:53 AM
    #5
    higherlux

    higherlux Well-Known Member

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    middle of S.C.
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    Mall crawler status
  6. Apr 14, 2009 at 11:58 AM
    #6
    EquinsuOcha

    EquinsuOcha Bourbon

    Joined:
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    AFE Drop-in filter, Wet Okole seat covers, Hifonics 6.5" components in front, MA Audio midbasses in rear, Kicker 8", RE Audio 2 channel for components, Elemental Designs bridged 2-channel for sub, CB, Devil Horns, Rancho QuickLift, Rancho RS9000XL rear shocks, Toytec AAL, stickers, things and stuff.
    Hahahahahahahaha
     
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