1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Marriage

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Sharpish, Jul 13, 2020.

?

Would you get married again knowing what you know now?

  1. Yes

    141 vote(s)
    59.2%
  2. No

    97 vote(s)
    40.8%
  1. Dec 19, 2020 at 2:00 PM
    #221
    melikeymy beer

    melikeymy beer Hold my beer and watch this

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2015
    Member:
    #165964
    Messages:
    7,937
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tundra
    Bummer. Time to work on you brother. Someone else can't make us happy and fulfilled. We need to look in the mirror and see someone we like and respect. Jmo.

    Good luck to you.
     
  2. Dec 19, 2020 at 2:30 PM
    #222
    Sharpish

    Sharpish [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2016
    Member:
    #173981
    Messages:
    2,495
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma TRD OR 4x4
    I agree 1000%

    Life goes on.
     
    melikeymy beer likes this.
  3. Dec 19, 2020 at 3:00 PM
    #223
    ABA180

    ABA180 It burns when I pee....

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2012
    Member:
    #88520
    Messages:
    16,427
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Chris
    East Bridgewater MA
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tacoma Regular Cab Slider
    Pioneer CD, Megaloud/JBL amps, Rockford/Polk speakers.
    You win the interwebz.

    People change. As do we as individuals. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not.

    An old girlfriend and I were together 6 years, we met very young (21 and 17). We did have a couple of off periods in that time but remained friends.

    Obviously we were both still growing up just in age, and definitely were in particular. The people we became weren't the ones we were in some ways..and a part of her that wasn't ideal at the start never changed either. I'll hasten to add I didn't change for the better in a couple of ways of course.
     
  4. Dec 19, 2020 at 3:06 PM
    #224
    maineah

    maineah Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Member:
    #53641
    Messages:
    5,163
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Tim
    Maine
    Vehicle:
    4X4 SR5 V6 6spd
    Only been married for 53 years so I guess I couldn't tell you how it works.
     
    wilcam47, Shelf Life, CJREX and 3 others like this.
  5. Dec 19, 2020 at 3:13 PM
    #225
    melikeymy beer

    melikeymy beer Hold my beer and watch this

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2015
    Member:
    #165964
    Messages:
    7,937
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tundra
    I hope they have been a great 53 years. Congrats. I have seen couples that were hateful and cruel to each other for over 50 years. Quantity is definitely not always quality.
     
    wilcam47 likes this.
  6. Dec 19, 2020 at 3:52 PM
    #226
    SH7mi

    SH7mi Live long and prosper.

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2010
    Member:
    #38871
    Messages:
    2,735
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Kevin
    West Grove, Pa.
    Vehicle:
    08 DCLB 4x4 black RIP. 2021 Tacoma DCLB OR Black
    Congrats on that! Long term marriages have become endangered species these days.
     
    wilcam47 likes this.
  7. Dec 19, 2020 at 3:56 PM
    #227
    joeydurango

    joeydurango Nightfall Overland

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2019
    Member:
    #305951
    Messages:
    324
    Gender:
    Male
    SW Colorado
    Vehicle:
    Heavily modified 2015 TRD w/Drifter
    I'm feeling ya man. It's a shitty place to be. After the last few years I am about ready to swear off women altogether. I've been trying to remember that my life is enviable other than in that realm. My own potential insanity has receded as I focus on other things. Find something that is meaningful to you, and that is better done solo.

    As for your last line... for me, the healing happens once I don't need to hate anyone. With my last failed relationship, I recognized where things went wrong, recognized that she wasn't really what I'd hoped, and recognized that being angry only hurts me. She will have to live with her decisions; I choose to move forward.

    Many of us have been there, you're not the only one - although I know it can feel like it. This will pass.
     
  8. Dec 22, 2020 at 7:26 AM
    #228
    Sien

    Sien Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2019
    Member:
    #311448
    Messages:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sien
    Vehicle:
    2016 Black Tacoma TRD sport
    Long-term marriages are rather rare nowadays. But I perceive this natural generational change. Our world is changing very quickly now and we are changing with it. Therefore, 10-12 years of marriage is a good term now. The Internet has partially limited natural live communication between men and women. On the other hand, the Internet gave us other opportunities. Single men can flirt with many women online using dedicated websites. If your relationship is broken, you can always find someone who fits you better. Life goes on. Remember this.
     
  9. Dec 23, 2020 at 7:12 AM
    #229
    e_engstro

    e_engstro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2019
    Member:
    #285040
    Messages:
    117
    First Name:
    Eric
    Arizona
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tacoma TRD Off-Road 4x2
    Honestly if you don't want kids then there's no real reason to get married. I've been married for a little over 3 months now and since we started dating (4 years ago), my life has changed a lot but all for the better. Life goes on if it didn't work out. Just make sure you next partner is an upgrade lol, or stay single.
     
    geekhouse23 likes this.
  10. Dec 23, 2020 at 5:55 PM
    #230
    ABA180

    ABA180 It burns when I pee....

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2012
    Member:
    #88520
    Messages:
    16,427
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Chris
    East Bridgewater MA
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tacoma Regular Cab Slider
    Pioneer CD, Megaloud/JBL amps, Rockford/Polk speakers.
    To each their own, to be sure. My wife and I didn't have kids prior nor were we going to. Still married though
     
    IPNPULZ likes this.
  11. Dec 23, 2020 at 9:11 PM
    #231
    eon_blue

    eon_blue Unknown Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2016
    Member:
    #180213
    Messages:
    46,208
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ryan
    Monrovia, CA
    Vehicle:
    Supercharged 2004 3.4l TRD 4x4 Tacoma XtraCab w/5 speed
    Nothing wrong with not wanting or having kids, but it's definitely a topic that a couple needs to 100% be on the same page about before committing to marriage or it will become a breaking point.

    My wife and I got married at 33yrs old, she had a previous marriage of 7 years that ended a year before we met because her ex suddenly decided he didn't want kids. Ideally most women aim to have children before they're 35 because at 35+ it's considered a 'geriatric pregnancy' and there are more risks involved medically speaking.

    Needless to say we got on it pretty quick lol. Our daughter turns a year old next month
     
    Shelf Life and ABA180 like this.
  12. Dec 24, 2020 at 10:33 AM
    #232
    ABA180

    ABA180 It burns when I pee....

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2012
    Member:
    #88520
    Messages:
    16,427
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Chris
    East Bridgewater MA
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tacoma Regular Cab Slider
    Pioneer CD, Megaloud/JBL amps, Rockford/Polk speakers.
    THIS THIS THIS

    My wife made sure I was okay with it not happening before we started getting serious much less engaged, due to her age
     
    Shelf Life, eon_blue and gasparic104 like this.
  13. Dec 27, 2020 at 7:52 AM
    #233
    07RedTacoDawg

    07RedTacoDawg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2020
    Member:
    #327468
    Messages:
    198
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Danny
    Jamestown , NC
    Vehicle:
    07 Red Tacoma
    2 inch lift , tires and wheels
    We've been married 39 years. There are times when you wonder what if , but i think thats only normal. Im sure she saved me from destroying myself when i was younger . I lived fast and wild and she was very conservative. I had a very good paying job and she made sure i made the right decisions.
     
  14. Dec 29, 2020 at 12:08 PM
    #234
    .jake

    .jake Ex-Lion Tamer

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2013
    Member:
    #115947
    Messages:
    1,525
    Gender:
    Male
    Dutch Oven, AZ
    Vehicle:
    0x07E1 4x4 DCLB TRD Sport
    2" Lift on 16x8 -12 SCS Ray 10's w/ 265/75 Wildpeaks
    First wives are called starter wives for a reason. They're like a fixer-upper house that teaches you how to throw the towel in. That's the whole point I think. The only real bonus is the boundless rabbit-like sex with a chick that hasn't got any wrinkles or stretch marks (yet).

    People definitely change. Tastes, preferences, likes and dislikes, but personalities don't. By 30 that's mostly nailed down. I didn't know that and learned the hard way. My ex-wife was 19 when we met and I thought I could handle the personality, but it evolved a little to my distaste, and then add to that the normal life changes and it was too much. Kids complicate it further. 23 years later and ka-boom. We got married for the wrong reasons and oh boy does it costs a lot to get free, ask me how I know. But being single sucks to me and I'd do it all over again - no doubts about it, just with more wisdom this time.

    I hope my whore ex-wife reads this one day. Did Sancho get a job yet? Just curious...
     
    FlyingWolfe likes this.
  15. Dec 29, 2020 at 12:22 PM
    #235
    PennSilverTaco

    PennSilverTaco Encyclopedia of useless information...

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2014
    Member:
    #134007
    Messages:
    36,763
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Charlie
    Central Bucks, PA
    Vehicle:
    2010 RC auto 5-lug slug
    I've got a story about a ridiculously short marriage; This was in May or June of 2000, so almost 21 years ago as of this post...

    My dad was in the Navy so we moved a lot; My parents sold their 4-year old (At the time; The house was built in 1996 and my parents bought it from the original owners in 1998) 3-bedroom home in Virginia Beach to a newly married (or possibly soon-to-be married) young couple (I'd say both under 30). Their check cleared and they closed on the house without issue; We moved across the country to Oak Harbor, Washington. ...

    We had just barely settled into the new place in Washington when our realtor from Virginia Beach emailed my parents to see how we were doing, and she dropped a bombshell; SOMETHING HAPPENED DURING THE HONEYMOON THAT CAUSED THE MARRIAGE TO FAIL! I doubt the newlyweds were married for more two months, and while they had bought the house, I don't think they had moved in yet or even made their first mortgage payment before they split up! From what I remember, they sold the house almost as quickly as they'd bought it and our agent (who had also helped my parents find a house when we moved to Virginia Beach) was shocked to see it back on the market so quickly!
     
  16. Feb 22, 2021 at 7:16 AM
    #236
    geekhouse23

    geekhouse23 The "Liftman" - @DrFunker

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Member:
    #108251
    Messages:
    13,797
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    2GMGMDCSB4WDTRDFTMFW!! TL;DR
    mostly stock, grocery gettin' Prius
    Checking in with everyone.

    My messages are always open for anyone that need anyone to talk to about anything.

    Things get better. Keep your head up.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2021
    Sharpish [OP] and 304_Taco like this.

Products Discussed in

To Top