Marriage

I totally felt the same way but so much less stress now. But it doesn't mean I still don't feel like this sometimes...https://gfycat.com/familiarshyfugu

 

Just like life..

 

One year of strife and bullshit, no one has learned or grown, same fight since day one. Just asked her to find an apartment and leave.

 

Outside looking in...

I wasn't married or engaged to her, not even living together..but when I was younger I spent 6 years in a relationship. We both had issues at times..I'll start by saying I became a drunk during that time and that wasn't helpful. But we came to a point of talking about moving about 1500 miles from home with her mother (who I loved and still regard as another mother) and I said to myself "you don't know anyone there so if you're doing this you better decide if you wanna marry this girl"..which I didn't. The lynchpin was when I met her she was 17 and immature for 17..she was now 23 and immature for 17; in other words, same issues since day 1 that she knew were issues and didn't seem to care to address.

Perhaps this is that lynchpin for yourself as well. Or just another obstacle. Regardless, much love and if you want a shoulder you can inbox me anytime.

 

just celebrated 35 years with my wife and couldn't imagine life without her. granted we had alot of issues in the beginning but we worked it out and have 2 precious grandchildren and life is awesome...you get out of life what you put into it...

 

Recently divorced after 16 years. Honestly, I don't see myself ever doing it again.

 

34 years in. It's been great! Tough at the 7 year itch! But we're older now and things are good!

 

Nice avatar sir

 

I'm into almost 6 years so far. don't think I'll make it to 7. Realized that maybe I'm a lone wolf and better off that way. Every minute I spend at home is worse than any minute at work. I don't think I truly have it in me to love another person but I've gone and brought someone into my world and it's not going to be clean or easy to get out

 

Just wanted to check in with some of you.

If you need someone to talk to, anytime of day, 24/7/365, please feel free to reach out. Do not hesitate.

Reach out.

Talking really does help.

Reach out.

 

You young amateurs. Marriage isn't a magical thing, it's work. I've been married 43 years. Has it all been a picnic? Hell no. Fat times, lean times, good times, bad times, teenage kid drama, adolescent know it all lip service, car accidents, calls from the cops for underage drinking, arguments, pushing each other's buttons, giving each other shit, make ups, fun vacations, working overtime, supporting each other with deaths in the family and other tragedies, both working our asses off, making major financial decisions together, trying to build a retirement, all the stuff of life. Would I trade it for a single life? Nah. It's been quite a ride and it's still going on. My advice to young horny bucks would be to not fall in love with just the sex, cuz guys like sex a lot. That wanes over the years. make sure you fall in love with the person too, realize that they aren't you, respect the differences, respect the talents and abilities of each, share the load, form a partnership, live a life. It beats the hell out of being lonely.

 

This. I've always said if a relationship could be built upon sex and little more else, my ex and I would never have split

 

Happily living together 13 yrs dated 2 yrs long distance and met online been an awesome ride......

 

Word. Don't marry a set of tits. Especially if you're an ass man.

@Sharpish, you haven't told us what the same old argument is.

What is it? Trivial, or something that your deepest soul chafes at?

And the last few years have been especially insane. Lots of stress for everyone. Take that into consideration, no matter what else is going on personally.

Clearly the honeymoon is over. Life gets real. You have to become a new you to make it work, and you will miss the old you. It's a journey without a map, even if you think you have one. Since you're a parent, you've had a good taste.

We all have differences. You have to decide if they are reconcilable, or irreconcilable.

So, that argument.

 

Well let me chime in on this thread...

My wife just recently filed for divorce on our anniversary 9/1 after 7 years of marriage. Do I still care about her and love her? Sure... would I marry someone again yea... I’m a romantic at heart. Would I be with someone that doesn’t want to get married. Sure.

Our marriage went down hill because we both couldn’t get over hurts that we had before and after marriage. We tried but she is in the mindset that I wasn’t doing anything to better our marriage.

What I can say is when it was good it was really good. I want nothing for the best for her but I’m ready to get out of the crazy cycle (someone might pick up on that reference).

marriage isn’t for everyone and I fully understand that but my beliefs it takes two unselfish people working together, with a little grace mixed in to make a strong marriage.

Cheers everyone.

ps starting over sucks and getting back in the dating pool after 11 years sucks even more.

 

I was addicted to that for a couple years. Best monkey wild-ass can't get enough ever. I'd get a rager just driving to her house. But pretty sure she was bipolar, and pretty much nothing else was gonna play out.

 

Ah yes, I dated a girl like that for a time.

 

Yeah, it does... but it certainly can get better. I won't say it always works out that way, but it definitely can. I'm 18 months out from divorce (not my idea) after a dozen years together and I've never been more pleased with the relationship sector of my life.

If you've made use of age to gain a little perspective and wisdom, it's quite possible you can use that wisdom to find a partner more suited for you than the one you picked the first time.

 

thank you for this. I’m signing papers this week so I’m not officially divorced but I’m already trying to figure out what I want in life.