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Mil spouse deployment blues

Discussion in 'Military' started by teamfast, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. Apr 18, 2011 at 6:54 PM
    #1
    teamfast

    teamfast [OP] Get busy living, or get busy dying.

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    In my current job I am deployed alot (8 months per year, not all at once). My wife is having a difficult time dealing with this,especially since we have a one yr old child. Its my last yr for this position and just want to get through the last year (of 3). How do you help your spouse get through the frustration of having you gone all the time?
     
  2. Apr 18, 2011 at 8:31 PM
    #2
    dbronzo

    dbronzo Protected by Armor Tech Offroad

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    Not sure how my wife does it. I've spent the majority of my time gone since 09. She a school teacher and we have a 2yr old and 4yr old. One thing that we do have is a strong family support channel. Her mother spends a bit of time visiting and helping and my parents visit once and a while and talk with her on a weekly basis. This helps tremendously. One thing I have found is that when I am home I try to do as much as I can to take the burden off her hands for a while. Good luck to you, stay safe.
     
  3. Apr 19, 2011 at 6:24 AM
    #3
    teamfast

    teamfast [OP] Get busy living, or get busy dying.

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    That is one thing we dont have, a supportive family. Her fam is 1.5 hrs away and mine 8. She is a school teacher and hasnt worked in two years because of the baby. She has lot sof friends here but none seem to really "get it" when it comes to deploying spouses because they are not military.
     
  4. Apr 19, 2011 at 7:16 AM
    #4
    Simon's Mom

    Simon's Mom Wag More Bark Less

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    Is there any military support network on base that can help?
    We always had an active family support network of volunteers, paid contractors, other spouses, etc. that provided all types of activities & help.

    We had it built into our training plans as a requirement and our unit had a family readiness group who reached out to others family members within the unit. That core group really helped keeping distractions from the deployment & supported the non-military folks needs. They did a lot like camps for the kids, pot lucks, etc.
    Some groups were better than others, but they all seemed to help.
    It really kept moral good for it is hard on everyone.

    You are on the right track talking about it and communicating with your spouse on what is going on for her.
    I am sure it is a huge concern and weighs heavy on your mind when you are away.
    That cannot be easy either! It is good you are talking about it.
    Thank you for your service & wish you the best getting more ideas in easing the impact of your serving on deployments. Maybe some more ideas will come up.
     
  5. Apr 19, 2011 at 7:21 AM
    #5
    rmb_crew

    rmb_crew My other ride has 18,400HP!!!!!!

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    i have been through 2 deployments with my wife both 6 months at a time. The first one was really hard on her and we were able to get through it but this last one wasnt nearly as bad. i was able to fly her out to me for a week in the middle and that was what made it easier. It just sucks and some people just cant handle it. I know i am changing my job so i am gone for only a couple weeks at a time but gone more frequently during the year so its not as hard on her. Good luck man. its just tough, and none of her friends will understand unless they are a mil spouse.
     
  6. Apr 19, 2011 at 6:53 PM
    #6
    rsincavage85

    rsincavage85 Well-Known Member

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    Lots of video chat when possible, supportive family, sympathy, understanding she has it worse than you. It's very hard. I am kinda in the same boat. going on third deployment in the near future with military and I'm a Govt' employee and travel is part of my job. Been there for 11 years and actually at work for 5 out of the 11. Just be supportive as much as you can and don't why are you yelling. Yep I got an earful for that. Good luck
     
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