Moving to Texas?

I just realized that 'cultured' can also mean a growth of bacteria. Relevance here? I'll let the reader decide.

 

Themaster: For the record, I think you do a great job counting. We should eat steak together if you're ever in the area.

 

ahahahahaahaha, i dont think themaster is gonna eat any steak from texas, he likes talking smack about american steak.

 

Very Low Blow . Texas 4 - Carolina 0

 

I F'in KNOW! I have kept score at the International Olympics, many a time. How do you think the Americans won so many golds ? And Bird Man has the beak, to criticize me.

I just might take you up on that. I've heard you guys serve some mean steaks. I plan on being in the Plano area before too long to meet re. invasion of Carolina. We can draw out the invasion plans at the same time. I'm certain we'll have total domination, effortlessly. They'll be so drunk on booze and fear, they'll retreat into their swamps and succumb.

BTW, I have received Top Secret Intel, (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY) that Georgia will invade Carolina before we do. They are going for the H2O and to govern the unruly hicks . I'm am wondering if we should beat Georgia to the draw or relax and laugh our asses (not donkey) off while they do the sh!tty sh!tty bang bang work. What's your opinion?

When we invade, I know you are not the "take prisoners" type, but I strongly recommend that we do. I'd suggest we capture Ricky Bobby and Stephen Colbert. They are the Queen Bee of swamp land. I insist we capture them. Without them, Carolina is nothing. Like a fish without gills or senior citizen without Viagra. I hope you are digesting all this (NON State Dept therefore) very accurate Intel. . They'll make good bargaining chips.

 

Not true. Sorry to hurt your feelings man but most American steak = Canadian Beef. If they say moo, they probably came from here .

 

There you have it folks, Canada openly takes the blame for American obesity

 

first of all, WE FEAR NOTHING, never forget that!!! georgia can bring it on if they want to, but why?? we have no h20 really.....all the damn lakes are running dry. but, the way i see it, alotta red necks there also, they may actually join us when we have our royal rumble with texas...........and our northern alliance with canada i could care less about, we can rumble with canada then too.

as far as governing "unruly hicks"....................hahaha, try all they want(kinda seems like you would like to also)..........that will never happen man!!! you cant reason with drunk people!!!

 

He he he . You cant blame us canada for your couches and the associated non Idaho potatoes . Gravy Maybe.

 

Hey sawdust. Can you feel the tremor in the above sentence? i detect a 5.9 on the Richter . What kind of reading do are you getting?

 

When the alliance runs out of water they are going to have a hard time making more beer...

 

nah, we'll just go to georgia to get it............................or we will steal some of canadas(i guess it will do in a pinch!!!)!

even if we did run out of beer totally, we've got moonshine.

 

hey themaster........what the hell kind of sentence is that last one supposed to be??? and you say us rednecks are "uneducated"!!!

 

I'm not letting you take the credit for our comfy couches.....just blaming you for shipping down the fat asses that fill them

 

I'm a defender, not an aggressor. Frankly, I got nothing against the Carolinas, but when they start dissin' Texas, I'll come to the defense. I'd sit back and laugh at the Georgia hicks taking on the Carolina hicks though.

Besides, if we invaded, then we'd have to take control of Carolina. That's a chore I'm not looking for. It'd be like wrestling a greased pig -- literally.

I already got defensive plans in place in case the alliance ever turns their weak threats real. I figure just get a bunch of volunteer rednecks to pretend to be stuck in the ditch every mile or so and the Carolina rednecks will be honor bound to stop and pull them out. It'd really only take two guys to do it since they could leapfrog each other a mile up the road. The alliance would be so drunk they wouldn't even realize it's the same two guys they've pulled out 50 times. Those two guys could lead them into rush hour Austin traffic, exit downtown to 6th street (bar after bar after bar), and we'd never hear from those guys again.

 

You could try drinking Canada Dry

 

Hey, don't be putting those people on my turf. More cars in our traffic are the last thing we need here and I don't want them going to all my favorite bars on 6th, they’d never leave. Actually that may not be a bad idea. They'd be so drunk and distracted by all the really hot UT girls that they would either have to convert to the Texas way or they could be easily dealt with (not that I think they would be difficult anyways).

 

See, on second thought it's not such a bad plan. The other possibility is that they'd piss off some freaky dude and their bodies would never be found.