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My identity has been stolen!!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by nd, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:11 PM
    #1
    nd

    nd [OP] Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    Apparently it was stolen many many years ago but i didn't realize it until a girl i know pointed it out. My identity was stolen by Matt Groening! For those of you familiar with Futurama you are of course familiar with Zapp Brannigan (AKA "The Man With no Name, Zapp Brannigan" and "The Velour Fog"). Well it was recently pointed out that he is a mirror image of me! listen to what wikipedia has to say about him.....

    "He is arrogant, incompetent, chauvinistic, cocky, vain, and painfully stupid." --- this one is obvious....

    "Brannigan envisions himself a "ladies' man", but is clueless in matters of romance" --- not sure how that relates to me....

    "He remains convinced that Leela (tacoark) lusts after him and will eventually return to him, despite her (often literally) violent opposition to the idea." --- this one is very familiar

    "His overconfidence in this is such that he does not hesitate to hit on other women, even in Leela's presence. He is also frequently seen with female companions who are obviously prostitutes, or even men in drag." --- no comment

    "Brannigan has expressed on several occasions his fondness for being choked and spanked by strong women, though during an encounter with the warrior-women of the planet Amazonia ("Amazon Women in the Mood"), his personal limits were rapidly met and exceeded." --- i had snu snu

    "Brannigan's pretensions of being suave are belied by his ignorance of how to properly pronounce words such as champagne (he pronounces the silent g), bravo, encore, and guacamole (he treats the e as if it were silent and pronounces the first "a" as the "a" in cat), though, strangely, he has no problem with chutzpah or karaoke. This may be due to his "very sexy" learning disability, "sexlexia" --- i cant pronounce cologne

    "Brannigan's battle tactics are impulsive, generally stupid, and almost always unnecessary. He takes delight in sending his men to die in battle, viewing this as proof of their loyalty." --- sounds very similar to the Carolina Alliance...

    "Brannigan's speech is laden with malapropisms and mixed metaphors. For example, when describing the strategy, he also says "If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." ---- some of you may remember me saying "mess with the bull, you get burned"

    so as you can see, Zapp Brannigan was based off of me and i am not getting any residuals for it!!!

    you always think identity theft is funny.... until it happens to you....
     
  2. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:12 PM
    #2
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    So when did you get a sex change?
     
  3. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:15 PM
    #3
    eordonez

    eordonez Living vicariously through mjp2

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    Sue their asses ND...
     
  4. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:16 PM
    #4
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    Fox Television will just kidnap him and deny his existence. Everyone knows that:rolleyes:
     
  5. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:18 PM
    #5
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    Happened to me once, but Pierce Brosnan got fired for it. Now some Daniel Craig guy thinks he is going to pickup where Pierce left off. HA! :p
     
  6. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:19 PM
    #6
    nd

    nd [OP] Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    you guys dont seem to be taking this seriously at all. everyone is falling in love with my likeness instead of me!
     
  7. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:20 PM
    #7
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    Not as many as the 98..

    Your cartoon rendering is farrrr more flattering.
     
  8. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:21 PM
    #8
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    ...so, what's the problem?

    according to your wikipedia references no one loves him.
     
  9. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:22 PM
    #9
    nd

    nd [OP] Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    i love him....
     
  10. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:27 PM
    #10
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    So... your real problem is that you are not in love with yourself, but your not self. Therefore you are really not in love with yourself at all, but only in love with the fictitious representation of what you could be in another time with a ship and some men to do your every bidding.

    ...riiiiight...
     
  11. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:36 PM
    #11
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    a ship and an alien
     
  12. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:39 PM
    #12
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    That too - an alien with a much higher IQ and reluctance to do his bidding.
     
  13. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:40 PM
    #13
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    that a female actually likes
     
  14. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:42 PM
    #14
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    SHHH!!! Don't tell him that. Then he will say that the alien is his actual identity. Don't encourage his delusions... ;)
     
  15. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:42 PM
    #15
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    I was gone for 10 min, im lost. Are we still making fun of ND, or moved onto his fictional self, who is an alien?
     
  16. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:44 PM
    #16
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    his fictional self is not actually an alien...

    his fictional self's assistant is an alien

    his fictional self's love interest is also an alien
     
  17. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:45 PM
    #17
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    OHHHHH!! How does that make you feel nd?
     
  18. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:46 PM
    #18
    007Tacoma

    007Tacoma I dub thee malicious!

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    alienated...
     
  19. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:48 PM
    #19
    dually

    dually Low and slow

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    Shit. I wonder if he was anal probed?:D
     
  20. Nov 5, 2008 at 2:51 PM
    #20
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    ooh burn!

    [​IMG]
     
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