1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Need help dealing with my neighbor....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by TacoTitan11, Jun 12, 2012.

  1. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:07 PM
    #1
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    ok, i need some advice here. my wife and I have lived in our house for 4 years and were friendly with the neighbors. Well, they moved away and a new family moved in. The husband is my age and was really nice and friendly to my wife and I for the first few months. Well, i didnt know but my neighbor was an electrician and he happened to show up where I work (distribution center) one day because he needed some parts. I was surprised to see him and he was surprised to see me. We spoke, shook hands, and I set him up an account since we are a wholesaler and sell to licensed dealers and electricians. i introduced him to my manager (nicest guy in the world) and told my manager that this guy was my neighbor and he was an electrician and i was setting him up so he can buy from us. So my boss smiles, pats me on the shoulder and says "hook a brotha up". I am white, my boss is white, and my neighbor is black. A few days later my neighbor and I spoke and he told me he was "offended" by that comment my manager made. He took it as a "racist" comment. I assured him my boss is not racist and is a decent man (which he is). So i thought the issue was over. But since this incident, my neighbor has spoken less and less to me. He quit waving at me when he passes by. I continued to say hello first and he would say hello back, but as if it was a chore for him to do it. He never offered a friendly hello first, i had to always do it first. Finally i just got tired of speaking first and when i am outside he completely ignores me. Am i missing something here? I am very genuine and try to do the right thing but this has me bothered. I am not racist. Am i just guilty by association? I told my boss and he thinks my neighbor is acting like a fool. i would appreciate some honest feedback guys. :cool:
     
  2. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:09 PM
    #2
    MonkeyProof

    MonkeyProof Power Top

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2008
    Member:
    #9774
    Messages:
    9,387
    SoCal- SGV
    bake him a cake and invite him over for a couple of beers
     
  3. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:11 PM
    #3
    toughtaco

    toughtaco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2008
    Member:
    #11547
    Messages:
    5,750
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    05 tacoma dbl cab short bed
    TRD CAI, MBRP dual exhaust, PIAA headlights and driving lights, 5% limo tint, 3 inch Skyjacker lift , AFE throttle body spacer, 285/70/17 BF Goodright AT TA KO, Grillcraft MX with PIAA's behind the grill, anytime fog light mod, reverse camera anytime mod, and PIAA fog lights on the rear bumper anytime mod light bar behind back window with truck lights for reverse assistance, Optima Red Top Battery, Onza 3x5" LEd reverse lights attached to light bar behind cab
    ^Not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole.....
     
  4. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:12 PM
    #4
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    i dont get it man, me and him used to chat outside all the time about guy stuff, and ever since this incident...its like i dont exist. But he will walk down 7 houses to talk to another mutual neighbor...i dont get it
     
  5. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:12 PM
    #5
    TacomaChris

    TacomaChris Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2011
    Member:
    #64233
    Messages:
    378
    Gender:
    Male
    I agree - try to make things right and if he doesn't want to associate with you then move on
     
  6. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:12 PM
    #6
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    what should i do? just forget it and mind my own business?
     
  7. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:14 PM
    #7
    HomerTaco

    HomerTaco That "grill guy" Vendor

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2010
    Member:
    #34129
    Messages:
    27,653
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig
    Bucks County Pa.
    Vehicle:
    07' DCSB cut to pieces...
    Core-Hurst short throw shifter & T-handle / Carbon Fiber Interior / custom console light / De-badged / leather interior / Heated Front seats / Red Line Hood Struts / Painted speaker grills /one-off TRD Satoshi Grill/ Pioneer AVIC-X920BT HU / Scangauge II / Black LED Tails / Dash Mount for iPad / Safari Snorkel / Illuminated 4x4 switch / Leer 100XQ Cap / 4x Innovations sliders / Rear Diff Breather Mod / front windows tinted to 35% / Brute Force Fab Hybrid Front Bumper / BAMF Rear Diff Skid / Budbuilt Skids / CBI Trail Master 2.0 rear hybrid bumper / Fox rr coils/ TC UCA's/ TC spindle gussets/ TC Cam Tab gussets / Dakar leafs / Defined Engineering shackles / All pro U bolt flip / Timbren Rear Bumpstops / BAMF LCA skids / Exhaust Dump / Fog Light anytime Mod / LowRange Off Road extended rear brake lines / ATO Shackle Flip / sectioned Bushwhacker flares / re-geared to 4.56 / ARB Front & Rear Locking Diff / ARB CKMA12 compressor / PrInSu full rack system / 1" body lift
    Agreed...

    If it does not work you did your best and just have to move on... :(
     
  8. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:15 PM
    #8
    steve103

    steve103 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Member:
    #42930
    Messages:
    121
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    steve
    santa cruz ca
    Vehicle:
    07 taco
    arb bumper,bilstein shocks,886 ome springs,ar mojove rims,2optima batteries,custom electrial.on board air,cb,14gal frontrunner water tank,frontrunner roofrack


    yeah this is what you want to do, break the ice.
     
  9. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:15 PM
    #9
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    i just hate being stuck in this situation. seems like everyone else around me likes us. i dont get it
     
  10. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:16 PM
    #10
    BuffaloScout

    BuffaloScout Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    Member:
    #17838
    Messages:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Minnesota
    Vehicle:
    10 4x4 loaded
    Weathertech, Wet Oaks, Baby Car Seat, Flashlight Mod
    Wow... bad case of taking something out of context. Your neighbor's perception of reality is he is the victim of racisim, regardless of what you or your boss think. Actions speak louder than words, I would kill him with kindness every opportunity you get. Always wave, always say hello. Sorry that's all I got.
     
  11. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:16 PM
    #11
    Johns Taco

    Johns Taco I'm not 4x4, and have an open diff. So i'm 4x1

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2010
    Member:
    #47253
    Messages:
    2,092
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Albuquerque, NM
    Vehicle:
    05 DSM Base SR5 Slug Taco
    Full custom stereo, onboard air compressor, train horns, spacer lift, 30" tires, optima yellow top, rear slider window & tailgate anti-theft mod, pop & lock, class 3 tow hitch, lights in bed, Ultra Gauge, Weather Tech mats, yellow fog lights, camper top, air lift rear airbags, rear diff breather mod, soon to be more...
    Tell him what your manager meant (hook your neighbor up), or write this guy off as a butt hurt black man.
     
  12. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:16 PM
    #12
    babytruck

    babytruck Babytruck, babytruck...I've got a babytruck :)

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Member:
    #56797
    Messages:
    9,005
    Gender:
    Female
    NorCal
    Vehicle:
    2010 Barcelona AC 4x4 4.0 6spd
    Seems to me he's got a chip on his shoulder. He took it as brothA rather than brothER (which, to me, is as if one is family). I use it as a term of endearment, words of brotherhood.

    You and your boss did nothing wrong.

    He is CHOOSING to be offended by something that was not to be offensive. That is in HIS mind, not presented with the thought of hurting him.

    You've tried to explain it to him, you been friendly and accommodating. You are going out of your way to try to make amends. You've done your part and he's being stubborn. He wants it this way, so be it. When he comes into your place of business, treat him as any other customer. He does not want to be considered your brother, so in honour if his decision, don't give him the family benefits of your company. I mean... you wouldn't want to insult him, would you?
     
  13. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:17 PM
    #13
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    even after he quit saying hello to me, i kept saying hello first. i kept on and on, he never made an attempt to say it first. so i just quit saying hello. if i dont say anything, nothing happens, he makes no attempt.
     
  14. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:18 PM
    #14
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    lots of good advice from all of you
     
  15. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:19 PM
    #15
    MonkeyProof

    MonkeyProof Power Top

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2008
    Member:
    #9774
    Messages:
    9,387
    SoCal- SGV
    :notsure:maybe he's just jealous of your tacoma
     
  16. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:19 PM
    #16
    mntbiker2008

    mntbiker2008 First I derp.. then I herp

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Member:
    #11718
    Messages:
    8,186
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Aaron
    Cincinnati, OH
    Vehicle:
    93 Pick up 4x4 (sold), 10' Mazda 3
    sounds like hes being a bit of a bitch.... yep... i said it. if he holds something someone else said against you and doesn't want to come back to terms... leave him in the dust. his loss.
     
  17. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:20 PM
    #17
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    after one conversation i had with him , i think i figured out he was like that. he was telling me about how he is "all business" when it comes to work. he was telling me about one of his customers owed him money (customer was white) and asked him to go play golf and his response was "i dont want to play golf, i want my damn money"
     
  18. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:21 PM
    #18
    Brianz1001

    Brianz1001 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2012
    Member:
    #80563
    Messages:
    141
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    In a House
    too much to type
    move on dude, give him some space. next time you have a bbq have him over for some beers and burgers.
     
  19. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:21 PM
    #19
    TacoTitan11

    TacoTitan11 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Member:
    #67842
    Messages:
    580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mr. C
    North Carolina
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma
    and why would he ignore my wife too? he used to say hello to her all the time? what the hell did she do to him? :(
     
  20. Jun 12, 2012 at 6:23 PM
    #20
    TacomaJPP

    TacomaJPP To secure peace, is to prepare for war

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2010
    Member:
    #47218
    Messages:
    567
    Gender:
    Male
    East TN
    Vehicle:
    03 4WD TRD XTD Cab
    Snugtop Camper Brushguard
    If you'd been black and said "what's up my *****," when he walked in the store, you'd be best friends. Who cares, move on. He's looking for something to be pissed about. Consider it a blessing that it happened early on.
     
To Top