1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by 1999TacoMan, Oct 4, 2019.

  1. Oct 4, 2019 at 9:43 AM
    #21
    km87

    km87 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2019
    Member:
    #301821
    Messages:
    146
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Kurt
    Utah
    Vehicle:
    2005 Tacoma 4 cyl, 4WD, MT.
    This is a tough situation to be in my man. Regardless of any decision made, it's a tough one to make. Asking a forum of folk you don't know, I think it's a good approach. Sometimes getting input from people you do not know is better than input from the people you know very well. That is part of the reason some folk go to therapy. There is great advice in this thread and only you can draw up the best decision for yourself from information you gather. If walking away feels right to you, but scares the shit out of you. You future self will be forever grateful for taking that route.
     
    randd and wilcam47 like this.
  2. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:03 AM
    #22
    CJREX

    CJREX Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2016
    Member:
    #191027
    Messages:
    1,585
    Gender:
    Male
    Georgia
    Potential complication here.

    Are both of your names on the mortgage?
     
  3. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:07 AM
    #23
    tcjacado

    tcjacado Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2016
    Member:
    #195947
    Messages:
    41,605
    Let's see if we can get a ladies prospective on this.
    @SRH
    @4x4_angel
     
    wilcam47, StayinStock and 4x4_Angel like this.
  4. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:12 AM
    #24
    su.b.rat

    su.b.rat broken truck

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2016
    Member:
    #193316
    Messages:
    9,874
    solid reply. i would post this if i could articulate it so well. truth can hurt, OP, but digging a deeper hole while hiding amplifies the problem.
     
    CJREX[QUOTED] and SRH like this.
  5. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:13 AM
    #25
    Kens04Taco

    Kens04Taco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2016
    Member:
    #196991
    Messages:
    1,770
    Gender:
    Male
    Sunland, CA
    Vehicle:
    2004 PreRunner 4x4
    kangs and thanngs
  6. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:16 AM
    #26
    Hextall

    Hextall Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2017
    Member:
    #215330
    Messages:
    1,096
    NH
    Vehicle:
    17 Inferno OR DCSB
    You don't seem to trust her, and she likely doesn't trust you because you're reading her private communications. You really should at the least postpone the wedding and seek couples counseling if you and her are willing to work through your trust issues.

    Getting married and carrying this distrust will not work.
     
    rene_weenie, SRH and su.b.rat like this.
  7. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:32 AM
    #27
    1999TacoMan

    1999TacoMan [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2017
    Member:
    #219082
    Messages:
    310
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Fort Worth,Texas
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tacoma TRD OR 4x4 DCSB (Sold)
    Negative. Only under her name.
     
    dblase likes this.
  8. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:35 AM
    #28
    Minimag95

    Minimag95 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2017
    Member:
    #235456
    Messages:
    1,656
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Niles
    Annapolis, MD
    Vehicle:
    2009 Pyrite Mica V6 SR5 4x4
    OME's w/ 887 Coils, SPC UCA's, 285 ST Maxx. Mobtown sliders & skid
    This^

    Sorry you're going through this man, it's rough but sounds like she doesn't deserve you. I was in a pretty serious relationship for about 5 years and eventually had to end it under (kinda) similar circumstances. She (kinda) cheated on me with one of my best friends. I loved her and we relied on each other emotionally but part of me knew it wasn't right, even before she did what she did. The health of our relationship suffered as a result. I eventually ended it... it was hard for a while, and I still think about her sometimes but I know it was the right thing to do, for both of us. Know your worth my guy.

    My story is buried somewhere in here
    https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads...cheating-story-psycho-ex-horror-story.588759/
     
    su.b.rat likes this.
  9. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:36 AM
    #29
    Extra Hard Taco

    Extra Hard Taco Survivor of the winter of misery and death.

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2017
    Member:
    #232419
    Messages:
    4,078
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    R.J.
    Clown World
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma TRD
    ARB Bumper, SOS sliders, rear bumper, and skid plate. OME Lift. Some other stuff.
    I only needed to read the first paragraph of your post. If your gut tells you something isn't right then it probably isn't.

    GTFO.....NOW!

    :bikewheelie:
     
  10. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:44 AM
    #30
    rleete

    rleete Grumpy old man - get off my lawn

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2013
    Member:
    #100861
    Messages:
    413
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Roger
    Rochester, NY
    Vehicle:
    Base DC, SR5, TRD Sport
    Billet grill
    You are being played. Leave. Don't look back.
     
    JS760, TACOVRD, dblase and 2 others like this.
  11. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:53 AM
    #31
    SRH

    SRH My horns hold up my halo

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2019
    Member:
    #279020
    Messages:
    20,410
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Shauna
    Vehicle:
    2018 Sport
    Oh boy.... where to begin with a female perspective .....
    When you are happy in a relationship, it wouldn’t matter if Brad Pitt wanted your number, you’re so into your man you don’t see anyone else that way. Tons of the same red flags goin on here. It’s been 4 years and you are still dealing with the same trust/infidelity issues. She should be so excited about the up coming wedding. I’m going to be very clear, IF SHES GUARDING HER PHONE, THERE IS A REASON!!! I understand you are struggling to see this as clearly as the rest of us, that’s normal. To say you are too busy, tired, etc. & blame her shady actions on you is not a hall pass to go look for male attention some where else! It’s called deflection!! SHE IS RESPONSIBLE OF THE ACTIONS SHE CHOOSES AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF SAID ACTIONS. She should be understanding of your work schedule. She seems to be someone who will always need to be seeking male attention and NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THIS!! This is her flaw NOT YOUR SHORTCOMINGS!! If you think changing your actions will change this in her, YOU ARE WRONG!!! There will just be a new justification. At the very least postpone the wedding! Then get YOURSELF into counseling so you can learn why you are ok with being treated like this!!! That’s where your future starts! With YOU in counseling for yourself!!! Not you and her in couple counseling!! From there one of two things will happen. You will either see this isn’t good for you and you will gain some self respect and realize you deserve someone that will treat you the way you deserve or you will decide its worth saving and THEN you bring her into counseling with you. Good luck, buddy!!
     
  12. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:54 AM
    #32
    JuanitoBonito

    JuanitoBonito Que Pasa

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Member:
    #119422
    Messages:
    9,143
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Juan
    CHI-TOWN
    Vehicle:
    2022 Raptor
    Way too many red flags. She ain’t talking to old friends.......she’s talking to old boyfriends. In my opinion that shouldn’t be happening because nothing good can come from that. Now she’s talking to a guy she just met. If you hadn’t found any of this.....how long would she have have kept doing this shit behind your back? She ain’t gonna stop man. It’s only gonna get worse. Plus in a relatively short amount of time, you’ll be married to her which complicates things enormously.

    You know it’s wrong, you know you want her to not do these things and you know what in my opinion should be done. Respectively, grow a set, pack your bags, and leave.....
     
    JS760, dblase, wilcam47 and 1 other person like this.
  13. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:57 AM
    #33
    su.b.rat

    su.b.rat broken truck

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2016
    Member:
    #193316
    Messages:
    9,874
    dayum...
    /thread !!!
     
    JS760 and wilcam47 like this.
  14. Oct 4, 2019 at 10:59 AM
    #34
    SRH

    SRH My horns hold up my halo

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2019
    Member:
    #279020
    Messages:
    20,410
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Shauna
    Vehicle:
    2018 Sport
    :notsure: I don’t sugar coat. I only know how to be straight forward..... too harsh??
     
  15. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:00 AM
    #35
    su.b.rat

    su.b.rat broken truck

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2016
    Member:
    #193316
    Messages:
    9,874
    dead on IMHO.
     
  16. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:01 AM
    #36
    JuanitoBonito

    JuanitoBonito Que Pasa

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Member:
    #119422
    Messages:
    9,143
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Juan
    CHI-TOWN
    Vehicle:
    2022 Raptor
    Yup, very well put @SRH
     
    StayinStock, TooTallJAMZ and SRH like this.
  17. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:03 AM
    #37
    CJREX

    CJREX Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2016
    Member:
    #191027
    Messages:
    1,585
    Gender:
    Male
    Georgia
    This simplifies things if it goes south.

    And just because it needs to be read again...

     
    StayinStock and SRH[QUOTED] like this.
  18. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:16 AM
    #38
    Kens04Taco

    Kens04Taco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2016
    Member:
    #196991
    Messages:
    1,770
    Gender:
    Male
    Sunland, CA
    Vehicle:
    2004 PreRunner 4x4
    kangs and thanngs
    Yup
     
  19. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:26 AM
    #39
    1999TacoMan

    1999TacoMan [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2017
    Member:
    #219082
    Messages:
    310
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Fort Worth,Texas
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tacoma TRD OR 4x4 DCSB (Sold)
    Thank you. You are so accurate with the Brad Pitt analogy and is exactly how I would have treated the situation if I were in her shoes. I'm not sure whats going to happen throughout the weekend, let alone the discussion that we will be having later today after work. I'm hoping for the best, but man has today been a shitty day.
     
  20. Oct 4, 2019 at 11:27 AM
    #40
    Steves104x4

    Steves104x4 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Member:
    #35468
    Messages:
    15,727
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Steve
    Buffalo NY
    Vehicle:
    2010 RC 2.7 4x4
    BUCKLE UP! It makes it harder for Aliens to pull you out of your Truck.
    Don’t talk. Leave. Edit: and NEVER speak to her, again. Be gone
     
    NetDep, JS760, TACOVRD and 3 others like this.

Products Discussed in

To Top