Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

Good luck...you’re going to need it.

 

Cancel it. I would not marry her at all. Maybe yall had a great connection or something, but I wouldnt marry someone after only 4 years of being in a relationship, but thats beside the point. You not putting any attention to her is no reason for her to cheat. It would be reasonable for her to leave you because she feels you dont care about her, but not an excuse for cheating. She may not have cheated yet, but I can tell you right now I played games like these with girls in relationships, and the first thing they do after a fight is come running to the guy she was having an emotional affair with. Some came and just talked and hung out, maybe had a few drinks etc and nothing would happen, but I did have sexual encounters with some of them. If she started doing things like these when its only been a few years with you, imagine how its gonna be when you are married and this has been going on for a few years maybe decades. Whats gonna happen when she goes back to visit her family and you have to work that weekend. That guy shes texting knows shes only here for a limited time and will do everything he can to score, even if she didn't have that intention. A good supportive wife, IMO, will not put you on the spot like this, especially if its because you're working. No good woman will go to a bar alone (1), talk to a guy she met that night for an extended period of time(2), and much lessget his number and continue to text him(3). Theres the chance that he is gay and all, but just remember this about 30% of men are not the biological father of the child (and dont know about it, theres even more that do know).

Also, any woman that interferes with your work is not a good option. Thats my own formulated opinion, but I live by it.

 

I reread the first post and it makes me wonder a little more. She has to be consciously continuing to give her number out for whatever reason for this to continue on.

 

Glad you got things worked out, but as said, be wary and watchful.

Putting a wedding band on her finger will not magically change who she is.

Tread carefully and wishing you the best of luck.

 

Thanks .

Believe me, this has opened my eyes and has given me a whole different perspective on life. After our conversations this past weekend, we both know what we want out of our marriage and what it's gonna take to keep our relationship alive and healthy.

 

Best of luck, I really hope it works out. Just be careful.

 

Yikes, I’ll keep my original response to myself.
Best of luck, there’s lots of sayings about this for a reason. A nice one is a Leopard doesn’t change its spots, and on and on, for a reason. I’ve been there, to see the spots stay the same, to many times.

 

I feel for you, i really do. if you think putting a ring on her finger is going to magically change who she is, and how shes acts you are in for a world of hurt. This isn't the last time she tries to sabotage the relationship before the wedding. I'm going to tell you what i would want to hear. "SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU" how do i know? because women communicate emotionally and use covert communication. and she is telling you in her own way that shes done and wants out of the relationship and she won't overtly say it like a man would. if you stay in this relationship you will be the doormat. and no women will EVER love a doormat.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, i'm just trying to save you from yourself. something i wish someone did for me when i was in similar situations.

 

yep...too many red flags.

 

I've seen this with so many people I know. One that comes to mind this woman was always wanting to get married, guy married her and she wanted a kid "all our friends are having kids, we're gonna be the last ones to have a kid" she said. They had a kid, she still wasn't happy. Not sure if her and her second husband and their kid are happy or not but she don't have much to do with the first one.


If she ain't happy now, she won't be after you get married, for long.

 

It could always be worse...
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/texan-man-robs-bank-day-wedding-pay-ring-venue-police-n1063286


Best of luck, OP. Set some goals on what you want to achieve from counseling, and really pay close attention to that inner gut voice. I will say that its easy to give relationship advice when its somebody else's. Its tough when youre in it, because we all fear facing the work that's involved in a breakup. Splitting up a house, untangling possessions, finding a new place to live, imagining life alone... those things absolutely kept me awake at night at the time. Now that Ive done it, it really isnt the big deal that I feared that it would be. Actually I was a mess for a month, but quickly discovered my own happiness again as I gained independence.

If the day ever comes where the only good reason you can think of to stay is that life might be harder if you leave, Trust me - its much harder to stay. Even in a healthy, happy relationship its much harder to stay. Make sure that she's worth staying for.

 

next stop on TW for op
https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads...cheating-story-psycho-ex-horror-story.588759/

 

In a situation like the OP posted in his first post. I see two outcomes.

1. She continues doing what she's been doing.

2. She gets better at hiding it.

 

I wish you luck OP, and truly hope you can work things out, but you have one hell of an uphill battle... Why would she change her wrongs after all these years? I hope she does, but this is rarely the case.

 

yup!

 

Good luck OP, really, it’s got to be 50-50 in a relationship, hope all works out for you 2.

 

know your legal rights ! Texas is a "Community Property" state, all marital property will be divided in a 50-50 fashion according to the court unless agreed to otherwise by the divorcing spouses

 

Run OP. RUN!