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New way to Fight a War

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Semperfi, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:12 PM
    #1
    Semperfi

    Semperfi [OP] Well-Known Member

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    New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!



    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing azz-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
    enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be
    cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some azzhole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up
    before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up,
    I may as well be up killing fanatical s-o-b's....

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because
    we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
    brainteaser...

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're
    used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course
    however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a
    bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at
    home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten
    coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pizzed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol.....we
    will have it secured the first night!

    Share this with your senior friends. It's
    purposely in big type so they can read it.
     
  2. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:15 PM
    #2
    oofy15354

    oofy15354 Proud Tundra *****

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    you sir get a check plus for the day
     
  3. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:19 PM
    #3
    Jigzor

    Jigzor Well-Known Member

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    Pretty funny..

    What about old men not being able to stay awake with the young guns? j/k.
     
  4. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:20 PM
    #4
    Anathollo

    Anathollo www.saveadane.org

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    Man that was funny!
     
  5. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:24 PM
    #5
    kmrofka

    kmrofka Im so hungry i can ride a horse...

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    we did have old men in the border patrol... they were called minute men and the gov kicked them out of the area
     
  6. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:25 PM
    #6
    paulm09tacoma

    paulm09tacoma Well-Known Member

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    you got my vote. that was funny and very true !!!!!!
     
  7. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:29 PM
    #7
    StZu

    StZu Where the White Women At?

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    As a guy over 35 I will be willing to re-enlist. I want to have a shot at one of those assholes.
     
  8. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:35 PM
    #8
    Semperfi

    Semperfi [OP] Well-Known Member

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    While the barrels are cooling we can take a nap:):):):):):):)
     
  9. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:41 PM
    #9
    Caduceus

    Caduceus Well-Known Member

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    While I think that's funny as hell, I really think we should have combat units based on all women. Yup, once they start cycling together... you know, rotate a unit in-theater for a week, then out for 3. Let the PMS group do the fighting. Keep units seperate so they don't get out of sync.


    Yeah, I'm going to hell for this thought.
     
  10. Jan 19, 2010 at 3:46 PM
    #10
    Semperfi

    Semperfi [OP] Well-Known Member

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    you are right but there would be a lot of "Friendly Fire"
     
  11. Jan 19, 2010 at 9:39 PM
    #11
    mntbiker2008

    mntbiker2008 First I derp.. then I herp

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