Northern VA Driver logic

Sitting in my truck on the way home today, attempting to travel from DC during rush hour, I decided to finally take advantage of all the time I had and compile a list of the things that people in Northern VA learn in driving school that nobody else does.
1. There is a "magic lane" on 95 that will allow you to go faster than everyone else.

2. In order to find said "magic lane" you must switch lanes as many times as possible.

3. Even if switching lanes as many times as possible doesn't reveal the "magic lane", it will still get you down the road faster than the other 15,000 vehicles.

4. Fully loaded semi trucks can stop on a dime, so it is ok to cut out in front of them when they are going 25mph faster than you.

5. An acceptable distance between 2 vehicles to allow you to join the lane, no matter the speed, is 3/4 of the total length of your vehicle.

6. When following another vehicle at 70mph, being more than 10ft behind the vehicle in front of you is unacceptable. This is especially true at night because it makes you polite when they aren't blinded by your headlights in their rearview.

7. The preferred method of driving in traffic is the gun and grind method. This is where you repeatedly jam the skinny pedal to the floor then at the last second grind the brakes as hard as you can.

8. NEVER slow down to allow someone to merge on to the highway, even when the on ramp is slammed. This will allow them to gracefully pull out into traffic and definitely not force the people behind you to either slam the brakes or swerve into side traffic.

9. If an emergency vehicle is attempting to get through traffic, you must jump in right behind it and speed around everyone else.

10. It is imperative that when joining the crowd from a ramp, you follow that lane as far as possible then try to squeeze into a tiny gap right at the end. never mind the kind people that leave a well above required 3 or 4 car gap for you to enter. bonus points if you continue at least 50 yards in the median.