Please help me settle an argument.

Update:
After an hour of diffusing the situation after work the wife was left with her last line of defense, tears. I love my wife but she is really trying my patience with the way she is dealing with this one. We are fine now and I am waiting for her sister to just ask. I learned a valuable lesson from one of my good friends. He's a cop and took a class called verbal judo and was nice enough to pass on what he learned. Basically if you think it's going to feel good to say it don't say it! I highly recommend this to everyone for every situation.

 

You're at a point where it can escalate to a bigger problem. She has to become more responsible and grow up. You should just ask her if she needs you to fix her car but dont do it for free.

 

Don't fucking do shit man. Don't do it for your wife, don't do it for her sister. 30, still at home? Fuck.

 

x2! (well put I might add) . Your wife is being an enabler by asking you to fix it for her(no offense). You give in once and they got you forever! Everytime she hears a weird noise you will be getting a call!

 

Alternatively:

 

I don't know this guy, but his answer is the best I have seen yet. Pick your battles, Do it and you have an ACE in the hole for later when you really mess something up.

 

I voted other. Here's why:

I don't presume to know how someone should or should not live. A 30 year old woman making bank, and spending all her money on toys and vacations, while living with her parents and not paying rent is not exactly what I'd want to date, but hey, if her parents are fine with it, what are you going to do? Your sister-in-law is going to be the one suffering if something happens to her parents, or parents' house and she has no where to go, no money to go anywhere. So, I think you denying to fix her car because you disagree with her lifestyle is silly.

HOWEVER, if she's not adult enough to straight up ask you herself, then how do you know she actually wants YOU to fix it? And for free? This might be a tough argument to convince your wife, I realize that, especially because it can be perceived as nitpicky or playing coy. I am a very black and white, literal person. It takes a long time for people to realize that I genuinely do not pick up on those subtle cues. But I think that's a reasonable stand to take, if you're willing to risk keeping this tiff alive between you and your wife.

Your wife will probably say something to the effect of "Well, I came right out and asked you!" How does your wife know her sister wants you to fix it? Did she ask your wife directly? Does your wife expect you to fix her sister's car for free?

If I were in your shoes, I'd buck up and at least look at her car if my wife were so upset she were in tears.

Just a note, I'm single, so I'm putting myself into your situation. I am by no means a relationship or life lessons expert.


Sorry for the long post. Hope it helps, one way or another.


EDIT: Missed the part about you and the wife being fine, and you just waiting for her to ask. Guess I skimmed that post.

 

i agree with the "if she wants it fixed she should come ask you."

but i dont agree with you on "women are always right in the relationship".
im assuming that you were saying it

 

Happy wife_Happy life

Duh

 

i WOULDNT fix it untill she asks. im sorta in the same boat you are, but i dont fix cars. its not about me though. just because its family...(only by marriage) but dude, its your time. and if you DO end up fixing it, charge her for it. and if she dont want to pay ya for it tell your wife DONT EVER ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING FOR HER AGAIN. that shit pisses me off. can ya tell? feels good to vent thanks!

 

Reading this thread makes me want to throw in a dip

 

Don't fix that shit for her she needs to be an adult and fix her own stuff maybe pay you a little to fix it.

 

what about the dude? what happens when we arent happy? suppose to prtend nothing happened? fuck that shit. it takes 2 for a marriage or relationship to work, its not always about the making the wife happy. imo.

 

now i need another!

 

It's not worth having troubles with the wife,UNLESS,it turns out to be a several day issue.......rebuilding the engine etc. ....then ya argue!.Don't forget,with some folks,blood is thicker than water!.

 

fuck that bitch...its not hard to ask a question. If she really needs help she will ask

 

not so much fuck that bitch, but i agree with the rest!

 

The way I look at it. The women always win man. We can try and hold our ground as much as we want but you aint livin if your wife isnt cooking cleaning and doing your laundry. and for her to do that you gotta do stuff for her. We can try and act tough and like we got big balls and run the house like we tell our friends at work. lol. I been living with my girl for 4 years. And trust me, you dont want to argue with a hispanic girl cuz she will smack you with an iron.

As long as I make my wife happy. I get my truck, lift , tires, guitars, fishing rods, tv, playstation, Swamp People. Besides, everything goes in one ear and out the other. Im a very good pretend listener

 

But in his situation. Ya the girl is dumb. Spending all this money on shit but cant fix her car? one of her biggest priorities? Let it die on her. If the wife gets mad give her the smelly finger