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Poor Missy the Cat

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by NumNutz, Aug 26, 2010.

  1. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:09 AM
    #1
    NumNutz

    NumNutz [OP] One of the original 7928

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    Lots.
    Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
    To: David Thornea
    Subject: Poster
    Hi
    I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

    [​IMG]

    This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
    Thanks Shan.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From[​IMG]avid Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Poster
    Dear Shannon ,
    That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
    Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
    Regards, David.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Poster
    yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
    Attached poster as requested.
    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
    Regards, David.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
    I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Awww

    Dear Shannon,
    I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
    I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
    Regards, David.

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Awww

    Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Awww

    I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
    I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
    Regards, David.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Please just use the photo I gave you.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    [​IMG]

    ________________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

    __________________________________________________ __
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    [​IMG]

    _______________________
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Fine. That will have to do.
     
  2. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:13 AM
    #2
    bajamoon

    bajamoon Well-Known Member

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    that's f****n funny shizz
     
  3. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:14 AM
    #3
    Matic

    Matic Locked and Lifted "02" DC TRD.

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    repost, but funny nonetheless.
    As well as the 5 legged spider e-mails.
     
  4. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:23 AM
    #4
    8th sin

    8th sin Swollen Member

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    after being kept up all night by a fvckin cat, that really made my day!
     
  5. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:40 AM
    #5
    meckleystephen

    meckleystephen My Taco is Bi-Winning!!!!!!!!

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    this is probally the funniest thing i have seen on here
     
  6. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:48 AM
    #6
    Taco-NB

    Taco-NB MMMMM Taco's

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    Thanks for posting this! Funny shit!!!
     
  7. Aug 26, 2010 at 6:52 AM
    #7
    Richman21

    Richman21 I think therefore I'm a Democrat

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  8. Aug 26, 2010 at 7:00 AM
    #8
    badguybuster

    badguybuster Well-Known Member

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    Pretty funny.
     
  9. Aug 26, 2010 at 7:00 AM
    #9
    tcBob

    tcBob Gringo Bandito Moderator

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  10. Aug 26, 2010 at 7:13 AM
    #10
    Simon's Mom

    Simon's Mom Wag More Bark Less

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    I'm in tears now laughing so hard :laugh:
     
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