Prayer for my Marriage

This ^ X100!!!!

 

I will pray for you Mark. I don't usually tell people this as I take it as a binding commitment.
We went through some really hard times in our marriage a couple years ago. Without getting into the whole story their was some infidelity on both of our parts. We had been married for seven years. Two wonderful children. Both professing to be Christians. But, over the coarse of time we both just drifted away from each other. It doesn't help that I am a merchant marine and am gone for most of the month, every month. Well one night my wife confessed to me and I to her. We had a big blow out. Lots of crying and yelling. We both thought it was over. But, God had different plans. Although we were both very hurt and embarrassed. We started working on our marriage on a daily basis. Talking frequently and trying to put it back together. We also realized that without actively seeking out God in our personal lives. We were no good as a couple. A strong relationship with God will help heal most hurts and put you on the right track in your marriage. We now attend marriage retreats religiously and do devotionals together. Our lives have been completely turned around.

It can happen for anyone. Just trust in the Lord and continue the coarse. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Good luck and God bless.

 

Thanks and that's my plan. I am attending a support group at church and actually feel connected to those at church now instead of attending and heading home. I pray she is working on her relationship with God as well, and hoping he can bring us back together.

I went the 2 hrs each way this weekend to see her and my daughter, and she didn't want anything to do with me and told me several times to just make it about my daughter, so in the end that's what I did.

I did spend some time speaking with her mother candidly and she feels the same way about the friends situation and feels we need good Christian couples to spend time with. Well I don't really do anything with friends at all, which she knows, so she pretty much admitted my wife's friends aren't a good influence on her.

I also gave her a chance to air out any grievances towards me at all, as my wife expressed I am a wedge between her and her mom. Well after talking with her, we are on good terms with no hard feelings, and we even shared a meaningful hug afterwards. Perhaps offering some healing in that relationship may speak volumes to my wife. Regardless, it was the right thing to do, and something I should have done when we decided to work on things the first time.

I am continuing to work on myself, and becoming more Christlike everday.

 

Mark, it sounds like you know what you're doing. Pray for the supernatural. I 'm about to hop into the shower (prayer time) and I'm going to pray specifically that the Holy Spirit gives you insight into her heart that you won't see natually. That God gives you the wisdom to know what she's thinking and feeling, and the courage to meet her needs right there. Monday all the men at my work get together and pray (about a dozen of us) and we will lift you up together as well.

My only advice being a former christian counselor is to mentally take divorce out of your mind as an option. She may not do the same but don't give her a reason to go. Keep fighting for her, and what's more, keep striving towards Christ. Remember that HE is your reward, not peace, not a happy marriage, HIM.

 

After spending time on the phone with you and the whole day yesterday hanging out in your shop, I send nothing but best wishes and prayers to you and your family. For those who haven't met Mark, he is just the nicest guy imaginable and willing to help you out at a moments notice.

Stay strong bud!

 

Dont give up Mark, reading through this again and your build thread your going through a tough time. I just read the part about your dog and im so sorry you've lost everything important to you in less than a year. The truck doesnt mean shit to you without your family I know that. I think its good to keep yourself busy with the truck or if your ready go to the shelter find a little friend in need of a home. It seems your staying busy just doent sit around thats when things typically get worse. I hope your days get easier, I cant say I know what your going through because I dont nor do I want too, but you seem to be a great guy there will be light at the end of the tunnel for you.

 

Prayers to you and your family.
Stay strong - dont take a single day for granted.
If its you and your wife or you and your family together be in the moment.

I really do try this at home and at points i lose focus - when you are with your family be with your family. Everything will work out for the best. Stay strong.

With young kids it aint easy I have two under 4 and its a challenge but i wouldnt change it for the world. Twll her you love her and how beautiful she is and what you enjoy about your relationship.

Praying for the best.

 

I second the suggestion for the love dare and actually watching the movie 'Fireproof'. The acting isn't the greatest. And say what anyone wants to about Kirk Cameron and his methods, the message in that film is very powerful. It played a significant role in the reconciliation of my marriage. In an effort to offer some hope:

My wife and I went through a divorce and it wasn't pretty. As much as I hate to say it, I was the one that gave up and walked out. I made a mess of myself and it's by far the lowest thing I've ever done in my life. She was a Christian and I was not at the time. She fought for our marriage, but in the end, she had no option but to let me go and to do what I did. About 9 months after the divorce, I eventually came to know the Lord and found out she and her group at DivorceCare were praying for me the entire time. Not for reconciling our marriage, but just that I would accept Christ in my life.

I called her to let her know the news and the only thing she could do was listen and not hang up the phone. I told her that I wanted to reconcile our marriage. After a couple months, she still wouldn't talk to me or believe anything had changed. It was at that point that I felt that I had to accept the damage of what I had done. Then my pastor gave me a copy of the love dare and the movie and the simple phrase, "I dare you", as cheesy as that sounds. I decided to do it and much like the film, I didn't fully get it until a couple weeks in. It took me more like 60 days to do it as I gave up a couple times in the beginning. I kept at it and I also kept a detailed journal about the entire process (pastor's suggestion). She had no idea about any of it and I gave her the journal as a gift after we reconciled our marriage. All that to say, through a ton of faith, grace, forgiveness, personal counseling, and couples counseling, (in that order in my case) it is possible and there is hope. I believe there is absolutely nothing in this world that God can't redeem.

I have never met you or your wife, but I am praying for the redemption of your marriage and that it would be to glorify Him.

 

Thanks Bryan!

Thanks. It is tough. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy (not that I have any though )

Thanks for the prayers!

Thanks for the encouragement! I am going through the love dare now, only a few days in, but its hard when you're apart do complete some of the tasks. Sometimes I get no response at all, but I still know I am doing what's right in God's eyes, and the whole point of a marriage and life in general is to glorify him. I hope someday my story can be an inspiration to someone as yours has been to me. I am proud of you!

 

How's it going Mark? Been praying for you today.

 

Been pretty rough this week, and I can't pinpoint why. We had a counseling appt. on Monday, but of course it was just me, since she's at her folks over 2 hrs away. I miss my family, my wife and my daughter. Meeting halfway so I can see my daughter for the weekend, but it still feels empty when my wife's not there. It's hard when I see her to not beg her to come home.

The group at church really helps, and I am really looking at myself, and areas where I need to work at and develop myself to be more Christ-like. I wish my wife could be around to witness the changes I am making.

I appreciate the prayers, and am not giving up hope yet, God can and does work miracles.

It's getting harder to stand firm when all around me people tell me its just not going to work. Or if it does what happens if she does this again in a year, or two...it makes you think. I don't know what I would do then, but I tell them I am not going to worry about it, because worrying helps nothing. I am here to show her the love of Christ and I have turned my back or hurt him more than once or twice. I constantly think of the prophet Hosea and his wife Gomer. He was in a tough situation, tougher than mine for sure, and was put there to continue to show Christ's love for/to her.

 

Does she go to church as well or is this not her thing?

I've seen guys who are in a similar situation turn to church for the fix. From her stand point this can be seen as temporary crutch vs. a reality check followed by change. So although you may think you are doing what needs to be done and attempting to change or improve who you are, she just might not see it the same way.

I'm curious what her parents think about all this. From a parental standpoint it would appear they are influencing this separation by allowing their daughter and their grandchild live apart from you. Though your wife might need this space for a while she needs to understand the importance of you spending time with your child on a regular basis.

 

Prayers sent bud

I hope you guys find each other!

 

We were both pretty religious before we met and have continued to "go to church." We are definitely not as involved as we should be, and not surrounding ourselves with the right people and friends.

We actually got a chance to talk a little last night, and I fee it went well. Hopefully we can build on this and move forward.

I do have my daughter this weekend so it gonna be a good weekend!

 

Glad to hear it Mark, I know you'll enjoy the time with your daughter.

 

Obviously we don't everything that's going on and being said between the two of you, but I'd also say something that I didn't see anyone else recommend: Don't smother or suffocate her with affection, "i'm sorry"s, or constantly try to talk to her. If that was what she wanted right now she wouldn't have left. I'm not saying ignore her by any means, but if she's not responding to you then respect her space. When she does talk to you ask her what she truly wants. Show her that you can give that to her and that you're willing to do whatever it takes. Don't just say it, prove it. Whatever it is. I hope this might help some. Good luck to you in your endeavors.

 

Funny you say that. That's kinda how the conversation started last night. I hadn't been trying much all week, and was just answering when she was asking questions after I picked up our daughter last night. Then I got an "is everything ok, you're usually not this quiet?"

When I try I get told she wants space, when I don't there must be something wrong with me. I will never understand women.

 

Trust me man, I've been there. 120%. No one understands women though. It seems like she's still not quite sure what exactly it is that she needs. Until she figures out what that is all you can do is to be patient and be there if she needs you. Continue to work on and improve yourself. It sucks being held in limbo, but until she knows what she needs you don't have a proper direction to go in.

 

Been with my wife 14 years. We started dating when I was 18. We went through some rough times. If you both love each other, it will work out.