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Re-Elect Zombie Andrew Jackson in 2016

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by jandrews, Mar 21, 2013.

  1. jandrews

    jandrews [OP] Carolina Alliance Southwest Region Ambassador

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    This is not a political thread. It's more of a public service announcement about how badass Andrew Jackson was and that we need to dig his ass up and make him president again. He makes Chuck Norris look like a fucking amateur.

    A few notes:

    - Andrew Jackson was once in a duel. He gave his opponent free shot first. He got hit in the chest. He then proceeded, clutching his chest wound, to aim and fire, killing his opponent with a shot to the brain. He was later quoted, referring to this duel, as saying "If he had shot me in the brain, I should still have killed him." Bonus: The opponent had also insulted in his wife, and Jackson's first attempt to shoot misfired. He re-cocked the pistol and fired again.

    Source: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/andrew-jackson-kills-charles-dickinson-in-duel


    - Andrew Jackson fully paid off the US National Debt. This is the only time this has ever happened.

    Source: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2011...he-entire-national-debt-and-why-it-didnt-last

    - When running for President, Andrew Jackson was called a jackass by his opponents. He adopted it as a symbol of his campaign and it later became the symbol for his whole fucking political party.

    Source: http://m.wisegeek.com/why-is-the-donkey-a-symbol-of-the-democrat-party.htm

    - An assassination attempt of Jackson failed when the would-be assassin had both of his weapons misfire. Andrew Jackson then proceeded to beat his ass with his cane.

    Source: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-...n-narrowly-escapes-assassination?special=true

    - He threw a kegger after his first inauguration.

    Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_inauguration_of_Andrew_Jackson#Reception

    - Jackson was in 13 duels. He was shot by so many bullets that couldn't be removed he was described as "rattling like a bag of marbles".

    Source: http://mycampustalk.com/the-most-gangsterific-presidents-of-all-time/

    - On his death bed, Jackson was quoted as saying: "I have only two regrets; I didn't shoot Henry Clay, and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun."

    Source: http://mycampustalk.com/the-most-gangsterific-presidents-of-all-time/

    - Andrew Jackson's pet parrot had to be kicked out of his funeral because it wouldn't stop swearing.

    Source: http://www.badassoftheweek.com/jackson.html?parrot=cool

    - One of his campaign slogans was "Protector and Defender of Beauty and Booty". No shit.

    Source: http://www.ancientfaces.com/photo/genl-andrew-jackson-1828-protector-defender-of/1100379

    - In the war of 1812, as revenge for a British Army officer killing his brother, Jackson cut up the bodies of two British Generals and put them in barrels of rum, then shipped them back to England.

    Source: http://www.examiner.com/article/what-would-andrew-jackson-do-about-the-oil-spill


    - Someone once shipped Andrew Jackson a 1400lb block of cheese. He held an open party at the White House and 10,000 people helped him eat it. The cheese-stink lingered for years afterward.

    Source: http://mentalfloss.com/article/27228/andrew-jacksons-big-block-cheese


    Now you know. You're welcome.
     
  2. Swank

    Swank Certified Mall Crawling Instructor

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  3. Fenwick1993

    Fenwick1993 Hillbilly

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    +1 for this thread. Glad someone else paid attention in history class. :D
     
  4. MGMTacolover55

    MGMTacolover55 Well-Known Member

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    He would be better than the past 4 have been
     
  5. jtav2002

    jtav2002 Kenny Fuckin Powers

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    Lol I love the part about the parrot.
     
  6. river rat 69

    river rat 69 Well-Known Member

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    Sending the 2 Generals home,:rofl::rofl::rofl: Dam for the days when we HAD ball's.:oldglory:..
     
  7. Silver02Taco

    Silver02Taco Feet in the water...

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    Epic OP is EPIC!!
     
  8. Konaborne

    Konaborne Pineapples on pizza Hawaiian does not it make.

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    I was just reading about a few of these the other day

    when me were real fucking MEN




    but he was the one that fucked with the native americans...
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2013
  9. JW87

    JW87 Well-Known Member

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    Yea. A true American Hero. I've been meaning to read his biography. Anyone know the title or author of it.
     
  10. VirginiaBound

    VirginiaBound Whyareyoureadingthis?

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  11. Slodgetto

    Slodgetto Über Posre

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  12. Slodgetto

    Slodgetto Über Posre

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    ALSO, FAUX-HAWK

    [​IMG]
     
  13. river rat 69

    river rat 69 Well-Known Member

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    In 1812 when asked by President J.Madison if he wanted to stay in Va. of go to New Orleans . He only had 1 ? where can I kill the most Brits at ??? Got to love him!!!
     
  14. DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 Semi-pro

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    LOL, good thread. Although he would probably re-die after seeing what the world has become.
     
  15. jmast

    jmast Is it June yet

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    ol rough and ready
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    [​IMG]
     
  16. Larry

    Larry Well-Known Member

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    Andrew Jackson would be unelectable in today's PC America.
     
  17. IDtrucks

    IDtrucks Just out for a rip are ya bud?

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    Hahaha awesome thread! Lets dig him up and elect him
     
  18. river rat 69

    river rat 69 Well-Known Member

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    Yep,, If ol Stonewall was around today how do you think the muslim apology tour would go..I think he would start by extending the Mediterranean sea all the way to Viet Nam.:)
     
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