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Subject: Fw: man test (joke)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by chris4x4, Jun 6, 2009.

  1. Jun 6, 2009 at 7:09 PM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    ---
    1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...******.



    2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer--it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.

    3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a ***.

    4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

    5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

    6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

    7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
     
  2. Jun 6, 2009 at 7:30 PM
    #2
    tinker_troy

    tinker_troy Wo die weißen Frauen an?

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    If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too

    FOFLMAO!
    Great post, thanks:D
     
  3. Jun 6, 2009 at 7:45 PM
    #3
    squad314

    squad314 Thinks he's Steve McQueen

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    1.I turned 40 this year and my gut is bigger than its ever been

    2.My last dog was a Boxer named "Mickey" as in Mantle,and the one before that was a Doberman named "Angus".

    3.I haven't had a lollipop since I was about 12,a pacifier since about 6 months,and am proud to say I have never had a ring pop....All the other stuff I'm good with.

    4.I have gone both #1 and #2 in places that would likely be considered much more public than appropriate.

    5.Black coffee only....ever.

    6.I'm significantly color blind so I even come up shy of six standards.

    7.I drive with one hand on the wheel and the other either hanging out the window if its warm or propped on the door sill if its cold.


    Geez,I wish tests in High School were this easy.....I'd be a brain surgeon instead of a dumb Fireman.:D
     
  4. Jun 6, 2009 at 11:36 PM
    #4
    Packman73

    Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

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    That's some funny shit. :D
     
  5. Jun 7, 2009 at 1:03 AM
    #5
    MiikeyD

    MiikeyD The Green Machine

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    hahah well said. lol
     
  6. Jun 7, 2009 at 1:11 AM
    #6
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    im still a man if i didnt pass one of those, Right?
     
  7. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:04 AM
    #7
    norcalbb11

    norcalbb11 Nor*Cal

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    depends on which one
     
  8. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:07 AM
    #8
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    lets just say i have a sweet tooth
     
  9. Jun 7, 2009 at 1:08 PM
    #9
    Flip_Pallot

    Flip_Pallot Well-Known Member

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    Don't know bout that, one of my favorite colors used for fishing.
     
  10. Jun 7, 2009 at 1:29 PM
    #10
    kmrofka

    kmrofka Im so hungry i can ride a horse...

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    i believe if you had a smorgasborg of colors in front of you and you could pick that one out it means your gay... if its for fishing im sure thats a obvious exception to the rule
     
  11. Jun 7, 2009 at 1:54 PM
    #11
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    Not only do I NOT know what color that is, I cant pronounce it. :eek:
     
  12. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:06 PM
    #12
    Pster

    Pster Well-Known Member

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    YES!!! I'm not queer!!! I got 100%!!!!!!! Thank you God!
     
  13. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:07 PM
    #13
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    You had doubts? :D
     
  14. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:13 PM
    #14
    Pster

    Pster Well-Known Member

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    One never knows.....there are MANY on TW that believe you can wake up one day and be GAY. It's genetic, and could happen at any time!! Confirming tests are a good idea.
     
  15. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:14 PM
    #15
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    Ah....True..
     
  16. Jun 7, 2009 at 2:20 PM
    #16
    Pster

    Pster Well-Known Member

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    I think another test should be "When you hear the word PUSSY, you immediately think of cats". EEEWWWWWWW!!!! THAT IS SO GAY!!!!!!
     
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