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That's How The Fight Started......

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by TheMaster, Oct 13, 2009.

  1. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:10 PM
    #1
    TheMaster

    TheMaster [OP] Born to Ride

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Member:
    #112
    Messages:
    3,850
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Chicky Baby
    NY
    Vehicle:
    2007 DC TRD Sport
    Bug shield, window visors, skid plate, rust proofing, tonneau cover, paint & upholstery protection, side step bars, navigation system.
    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Quiz on TV while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No," she answered.
    I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    And that's when the fight started.....


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
    And that's when the fight started....


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
    I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
    The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
    'The weather out there is terrible.'
    My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
    And then the fight started ...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
    Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
    The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap’.
    That must be my husband!'
    So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
    A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
    The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
    And then the fight started.....


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
    I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
    And then the fight started....


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
    I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    And then the fight started.....


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
    "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
    Nah, she can order for herself."
    And then the fight started...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
    and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
    'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
    The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
    I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
    I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
    and she processed my Social Security application.
    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
    And then the fight started...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, 'What's on TV?'
    I said, 'Dust.'
    And then the fight started...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------


    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
    I bought her a scale.
    And then the fight started...
     
  2. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:14 PM
    #2
    gupster88

    gupster88 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2009
    Member:
    #16692
    Messages:
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    Male
    First Name:
    Brett
    Almost Heaven
    Vehicle:
    '17 Inferno DCSB O/R
    STOCK 4 NOW
    lmfao those are good man!
     
  3. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:17 PM
    #3
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    106,156
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    I told my Wife she had to organize all her dam shoes. She said "YOu have no job, and nothing to do....YOU do it FOR me!"

    SO!:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    AND thats how the fight started.....
     
  4. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:20 PM
    #4
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    106,156
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    My Wife told me to Fix the Vacuum:

    [​IMG]


    And thats how the Fight started....
     
  5. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:24 PM
    #5
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    106,156
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    Yes...but Im adding a new twist to it..
     
  6. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:26 PM
    #6
    SamSter0077

    SamSter0077 Happy Camper

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2008
    Member:
    #8396
    Messages:
    1,693
    Gender:
    Male
    Katy, TX
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma 4x4 TRD OR
    OME 886 Coils, and Struts, Rear Toytec TSB AAL/ OME shock absorbers, Fog Lamp anytime mod, Voyager Brake Controller.
    LMAO

    Nice!
     
  7. Oct 13, 2009 at 5:28 PM
    #7
    1337Taco

    1337Taco Sold all 3

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Member:
    #6504
    Messages:
    7,373
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Kevin
    NorCal
    Vehicle:
    2012 4x4
    Kings
  8. Feb 23, 2011 at 6:43 AM
    #8
    98tacoma27

    98tacoma27 is gooder 'en chicken Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Member:
    #11714
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ben
    Beech Creek
    Vehicle:
    05 Tundra SR5 (+250k AND COUNTING), 88 SR5 PU (SOLD), 98 TRD OR (CRUSHED)
    5100's all on fours
    It all began with an iPhone...


    My son celebrated his birthday and I got him an iPhone.


    He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

    [​IMG]


    I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me


    very happy when she bought me an iPad.



    [​IMG]



    My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.



    [​IMG]



    September came by so for my wife’s birthday I bought her an iRon.



    [​IMG]



    It was around then that the fight started...


    What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iNag app.


    Which led me to the iHospital.



    iGet out Thursday

    iron.jpg
     
  9. Feb 23, 2011 at 10:50 AM
    #9
    4WD

    4WD cRaZy oLdmAn

    Joined:
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    #19185
    Messages:
    23,950
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Doug
    Lakeside, Ca / Gardnerville, Nevada
    Vehicle:
    No Truck..well, maybe
    Grey wire MOD, deck plate, diff breather MOD, 2nd gen. OME 883# on Tundra 5100's, OMD custom 3" leafsprings, rear shock relocation, Ivan Stewart TRD rims w/285/75/16's, '02 bumper MOD, Famous Fabrications sliders , LED interior/exterior lights, bed bar, Custom tube bumper, Old school KC day lighters,Red Ring 8" HID flood, Kenwood vhf 2M.. umm some other shit I'm forgetting right now


    Funny as hell......:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
     
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