THE BEST dam chocolate milk you could ever have

neontrail · Oct 24, 2008

First, I’ve got to get this recipe out of the way—this recipe for a homemade, ABSOLUTELY DECADENT chocolate milk mix you keep cold in the fridge and mix with ice cold milk whenever the craving strikes. First, let me warn you: it’s evil. It’s rich. It’s only to be enjoyed in moderate amounts. But the good news is, you have complete control over The Evil Factor by choosing whether to use Skim, 1%, or 2% Milk. Let’s hear it for choices in life!
The closest thing comparison I can draw to this substance is the dark brown storebought syrup in the bottle. But make no mistake: once you take a sip chocolate milk made with this easy-to-make homemade mix, you may never buy the syrupy stuff again.
After the recipe, I’d like to hear from you guys about philosophical and theological intricacies of chocolate milk, so please don’t R-U-N-N-O-F-T.

To begin, find a medium-small skillet. Then scrub it with an S.O.S. pad so you won’t embarrass yourself by revealing your hard water stains.

Pour 1 cup of heavy (whipping) cream into the pan.

Do not be afraid. The cream means you no harm, and you’ll only wind up having a little bit of it per serving. Bring it to a low boil over medium-high heat.

Grab 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate and break it into pieces. I happened to have this particular brand, but heck, a handful of lowly chocolate chips will do.

I’ve really found that semi-sweet is best. You can use bittersweet chocolate, but you’ll probably wind up adding sugar to your chocolate milk, and that can get out of hand really quickly.

When the cream is hot, add the chocolate to the pan…

And turn off the heat.

Whisk the mixture slowly…

Until chocolate is melted and smooth.
Be sure to whisk the mixture at least a couple of minutes; you want the chocolate and the cream to become one. At this point, I also stir in 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract, just for kicks. But that’s entirely optional.

Now, find a good container in which to pour this delicious substance. I normally use a very handy “squirter”, which is nothing more than a translucent ketchup squirt bottle. It’s the best thing for the job in this case, because eventually in the fridge, the mix gets quite thick. A squirt bottle just means you don’t have to dirty up a spoon. Because, you know, cleaning dirty spoons is a homemaker’s biggest burden.
Anyway, I’m using a Weck canning jar. Why? you ask? Well, it’s simple: because my boys decided to take my two translucent plastic ketchup squirt bottles and feed Puddin’, our calf, orange juice. I don’t think it went very well for them—Puddin’ apparently got a little ticked off that milk wasn’t coming from the spigot they offered, and she booted my older boy in the bottom. I don’t think she did it to be mean; calves tend to ram the udders of their mamas when they want milk to come out. But my boy was traumatized all the same, and to make a long story short, Charlie ran off with my two bottles and chewed them to smithereens.
Reading the previous paragraph, I’m more perplexed than ever as to why anyone on earth even continues reading this site.
Anyway, find yourself a vessel.
And pour in the sweet chocolate nectar:

Put on the lid.

Now comes the challenge: do not eat this with a spoon. Don’t do it, I tell you—you’ll hate yourself in the morning.

Just stick it in the fridge and it’ll keep up to two weeks! And if you’re like my household, it won’t last any longer than that.

When you’re ready to make a glass of the good stuff, grab some pretty stemware that used to be your grandmother’s. Close your eyes and remember her beautiful wrinkles. And how she used to laugh at everything you said. Mouth the words, “I love you, Grandma Helen,” and consider getting back into needlepoint, because Grandma Helen loved needlepoint.

Pour about 1 to 2 tablespoons of the chocolate mix into the glass…

How much you use depends on how chocolaty you want your milk…but trust me: a little goes a long way.

Next, grab your milk of choice and splash it in.

Here’s the good news: because the chocolate mix contains rich cream, you can easily use Skim or 1% milk. It’ll still be as rich as rich can be.

And if you use Skim milk, THERE ARE NO, CALORIES…RIGHT?
Kinda. Sorta. Never mind.

Now, here’s the key: you need to stir the mixture vigorously. Especially if it’s been in a cold fridge, it’ll be a little firm. But all you have to do is STIR! And even still, there are some nice, delicious bits of chocolate here and there. To me, this is the beauty of homemade drinking chocolate.

Source I love this woman!