Thought for the day

There are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky

 

If you're on a road with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

 

Thats what you think..

 

My dad's friend to me when I was 15:

"If it's got tits or tires, sooner or later it'll give you a problem."

 

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person

 

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and giving him only two of them.

 

Cats are like a reclusive roommate that poops in a box.

 

There are two food groups in the world, the one you put cheese on and the one you put chocolate on.

 

Thought For The Day:

It's 3:00 pm, I should prolly get out of bed...

 

It's not day drinking if you don't start in the morning.

 

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments

 

The police want you to know that running from them is not social distancing.

 

Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning “I don’t hunt so good”.

 

Abs on a skinny dude are like tits on a fat chick. Neither one count.

 

When the going gets tough switch to power tools.

 

Not nitpicking but I think it’s “you can’t drink all day unless you start in the morning”

 

It doesn’t matter what you think. If you were married you’d know that.

 

Never under estimate the stupidity of people in a group.

 

Dopeler effect- The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you one after the other at high speed

 

Remember, you may have to grow old, but you don’t have to mature.