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To the guy doing my wife,

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by piercedtiger, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. Mar 14, 2008 at 7:17 AM
    #1
    piercedtiger

    piercedtiger [OP] Devout Atheist

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    Jon
    Southern Tier, NY
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    2015 F150 3.5EB SCEW 6.5ft
    You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

    1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

    2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
    I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

    3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

    4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?

    5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I un out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

    6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.

    7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

    8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

    9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

    10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

    Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

    P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
     
  2. Mar 14, 2008 at 8:04 AM
    #2
    Roland

    Roland My other ride has sails

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    Thanks! :thumbsup:
     
  3. Mar 14, 2008 at 8:12 AM
    #3
    jonny_jard

    jonny_jard Well-Known Member

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    3" suspension lift, bull bar, IPF 100w flood light system, side bars, custom fit leather seat covers, URD CAI, URD MAF calibrator,
    Wow................. if you gonna kill the guy come to canada. you'll be out in 5 with good behavior.
     
  4. Mar 14, 2008 at 8:16 AM
    #4
    piercedtiger

    piercedtiger [OP] Devout Atheist

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    Southern Tier, NY
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    :laugh: I just thought that would be good for a laugh. I ran across that on some other forum I think.... I can't remember where I found it. lol

    And Bob hasn't posted anything amusing today. ;)
     
  5. Mar 14, 2008 at 8:25 AM
    #5
    jonny_jard

    jonny_jard Well-Known Member

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    3" suspension lift, bull bar, IPF 100w flood light system, side bars, custom fit leather seat covers, URD CAI, URD MAF calibrator,
    I was assuming it was a joke. I had to get my girl to read that one. Both of us had a good laugh.
     
  6. Mar 14, 2008 at 11:32 AM
    #6
    Roland

    Roland My other ride has sails

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    UnderCover Tonneau, Bed mat, Bug Deflector, aFe Pro Dry S, Secondary Air Filter removed, Synthetic 5W-30 oil, Scanguage II with blendmount, WeatherTech floorliners, Toyota seat covers, Installed OEM intermittent wipers, TacomaWorld sticker, Defrost without AC mod, Hidden Hitch
    It's an oldie but a goodie. I think I first saw it as a fax in the 80's :cool:
     
  7. Mar 14, 2008 at 1:44 PM
    #7
    jhodge83

    jhodge83 Any dog under 50# is a cat and cats are useless... Moderator

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    wat?
    i think that is on the best of craigslist or something...i've seen it before too
     
  8. Sep 13, 2008 at 6:39 PM
    #8
    Casey05Taco

    Casey05Taco Well-Known Member

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    trd seat covers, bed mat, tinted windows, debadged, mud flaps removed, tinted tails, blacked out center console, Black Rims, 6000k HID in highs and fogs, blacked out front emblem, Pioneer AVH-4300DVD, Gauge Cluster, lower valence, retrofitted, audio system, Maxtrac Spindles, Billies
    this is so funny. whenever i read it i still laugh
     
  9. Sep 13, 2008 at 6:52 PM
    #9
    luk8272

    luk8272 Poodoo

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    Great post My girlfriend and I had a good laugh.
     
  10. Oct 21, 2008 at 8:43 PM
    #10
    Fluffymonkey

    Fluffymonkey Token

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  11. Oct 21, 2008 at 9:05 PM
    #11
    Killer Red Taco

    Killer Red Taco NorCal Rock Whore

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    Bilstein 5100 on front at 1.75 setting • 5100 on back• K&N Air Filter• TRD Seat Covers• Day Time Running Lights• Foglights Anytime• Hella 500 lights in grille• Rear TSB Springs• Alternative Locker Mod• CB and 4 ft firestick II• Billet Grille• Kid puke in the back!• 265/75R16 Goodyear MT/R• 16" Devino wheels• Hose Clamp Mod• Revenge Fab Sliders• No Sway Bar• A Hottie as Copilot
    Best of Craigslist had this running for a while, funny ever time though. good read.
     
  12. Apr 13, 2011 at 4:42 PM
    #12
    Gregero

    Gregero TRD: Trail Ready Development

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    Holy shit. I did a search on getting baked mud off the exhaust and this is what I found. Good laugh.
     
  13. Apr 13, 2011 at 4:48 PM
    #13
    97yota4wd

    97yota4wd Well-Known Member

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    alot of metal, small engine, decent travel.
    caged, camburg long travel, 50t leafpack (soon to be installed) light rack over cab, 5pt harnesses etc
    i was wondering if this was true or not. haha il gullable. but funny!
     
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