1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

What would you do?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by neontrail, Mar 20, 2012.

  1. Mar 20, 2012 at 8:27 PM
    #1
    neontrail

    neontrail [OP] ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2008
    Member:
    #5844
    Messages:
    10,128
    Gender:
    Male
    Idaho
    Vehicle:
    2004 NISSAN XTERRA XE/SE
    De-badged, Tint 20%, Blue 48 LED dome-light, .......
    My real dad who I have not spoken to in over 25 years just requested friendship via facebook.

    :eek:

    Please help / advise :(
     
  2. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:08 PM
    #2
    tacotrd647

    tacotrd647 Resident "dude"

    Joined:
    May 29, 2011
    Member:
    #57421
    Messages:
    604
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Caleb
    Ridgeway, Iowa
    Vehicle:
    02 Prerunner SR5 TRD
    KMC Enduro Wheels, 265/75/16 toyo open country at2
    Poke him
     
  3. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:09 PM
    #3
    Bishop2Queens6

    Bishop2Queens6 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Member:
    #57944
    Messages:
    1,317
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    SoCal
    Vehicle:
    2009 DCSB MGM
    Afe CAI (removed back to stock intake), TSB 4 leaf pack with Firestone Air Bags and Daystar cradels, 3rd OEM HU, Wranger All Terrain Adventure with Kevlar 265/75/16, Cali raised LED pods, Wheeler Off Road Front Bump Stops.
    I wouldn't do it. If there is a serious reason why you two haven't spoken in 25 years, then keep it that way. I haven't spoken to my real father in 10+ years. Bruises and physical scars last only a few months, but psychological scars last a lifetime so contacting him is just going to resurface buried memories, and its just going to cause unnecessary emotional turmoil.

    Unless.....you need closure and want a relationship with your biological father. If you are content in you life, and have ABSOLUTELY no desire WHATSOEVER to forge a relationship, then don't accept. Mull it over.
     
  4. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:09 PM
    #4
    tacotrd647

    tacotrd647 Resident "dude"

    Joined:
    May 29, 2011
    Member:
    #57421
    Messages:
    604
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Caleb
    Ridgeway, Iowa
    Vehicle:
    02 Prerunner SR5 TRD
    KMC Enduro Wheels, 265/75/16 toyo open country at2
    See if he will be in your mafia...or maybe see if he will play farmville with you.
     
  5. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:11 PM
    #5
    04LTtacoma

    04LTtacoma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Member:
    #37190
    Messages:
    11,138
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    2004 SR5 TRD tacoma
    Camburg LT
    Accept him.
     
  6. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:12 PM
    #6
    medic2230

    medic2230 Ditch Doctor

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Member:
    #9942
    Messages:
    27,177
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Murph
    Bama! Roll Tide
    Vehicle:
    2011 Taco 4x4 DCLB
    20% Tint, OME 3"complete lift with Dakar's, Light Racing UCA's, 285/75/16 Nitto Terra Grapplers, 10 HP TW sticker, Ultraguage, B.A.M.F. Rock Sliders, MedicFab Bed Rack, Relentless front bumper
    I guess only you can answer that question. You know the history and if you want anything to do with him in your life. Sorry but that's all I got.
     
  7. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:16 PM
    #7
    SnowroxKT

    SnowroxKT AK SnowroxKT

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2011
    Member:
    #68604
    Messages:
    3,960
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Kyle
    Anchorage Alaska
    Vehicle:
    Roxy '95 Manual 4x4
    SAS locked geared
    Would you feel comfortable calling and talking to him? If so add, if not write him a letter??? idk, Personally I do not add family members that I dislike, (uncle that stole inheritence, cousin that is a DB, etc)
     
  8. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:26 PM
    #8
    saundern

    saundern Swerve for nothing

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2009
    Member:
    #27342
    Messages:
    2,645
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nick
    Upstate, SC
    Vehicle:
    2002 SR5 4x4
    facebook....really....
     
  9. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:35 PM
    #9
    TacoAL

    TacoAL Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2010
    Member:
    #47386
    Messages:
    1,010
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    AL
    The Gunshine State
    Vehicle:
    TC
    None (for now)
    Do not do it. In that situation he is reaching out for something. He needs or wants somethings. You have done fine so far without him. Just carry on without him. Remember he wasn't there for a good reason.
     
  10. Mar 20, 2012 at 9:42 PM
    #10
    fireturk41

    fireturk41 I like to break shit!

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2008
    Member:
    #11857
    Messages:
    4,805
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Kevin
    High Point, NC
    Vehicle:
    280k miles
    SAS, Locked front rear, Ufab sliders and bumpers, air compressor, 35" BFG KM2 on steelies and 36" TSLs
    way i look at interactions with people, treat them as if they could die at any moment from now, always leave people on good terms and never leave angry, because you never know when your final goodbye may be

    i have no idea what your situation with your father is, maybe he is trying to reach out and finally step in his role and get to know his son, maybe he is sick, hell maybe he wants something from you.

    I'd add him, see how it works out, it may open a new found relationship with your father, if it doesnt work you can always block/delete him

    my 0.02
     
  11. Mar 20, 2012 at 11:06 PM
    #11
    Tigahshark

    Tigahshark Senior NEWBIE

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2011
    Member:
    #61688
    Messages:
    8,255
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Isaac
    On a volcano, literally!
    Vehicle:
    2011 DC TRD off road 4X4
    Tint Weathertech floor liner, weathertech window visor Roll n lock tonneau cover Rubber bed mat Smoked license plate covers
    Accept him, let bygones be bygones, be a friend at first and IF it progresses good, if not its ok.
     
  12. Mar 21, 2012 at 12:35 AM
    #12
    IDtrucks

    IDtrucks Just out for a rip are ya bud?

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Member:
    #38254
    Messages:
    20,544
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mark
    Boise ID
    Vehicle:
    96' X-Cab 4x4 TRD Off Road Clusterfuck
    JVC Deck, 10" sub mountd in rear seat cubby, 2 LED off road lights mounted in grille, amber raptor style grille lights, LED rock lights, square led bed light, custom made fuse block tray, 12 blade Blue Sea fuse block, 100a marine circuit breaker, black plasti dipped full grille, tinted tail lights + third, Uniden 520 with 4' firestik, Bilstein 5100s with 620lb Eibach coils, Diff drop, Chevy 63 leaf swap, TG creeper joints, 14" triangulated biletein 5125s, 8" extended steel braided brake line, TG Rock Sliders, CBI Moab 1.0 front bumper, custom fabbed bed rack, full TRD E-Locker axle swap and matching re-gear with custom stand alone wiring circuit, 29 spline pinion flange from an 06 wishbone runner, tubbed for 35x12.5" general grabbers on Ultra type 181 wheels, crush sleeve eliminator, Mini ARB compressor, front ARB locker, garage fab aluminum front skid plate, custom built high clearence rear bumper, removable mothafuckin doors
    sometimes it takes family members a LONG time to realize that they fucked up in some sort of way (be it a huge life changing event or a few small things) and this could be his first attempt to come to peace with whatever he did and make a mends. id accept and message him, see what he wants. if its not anything good its pretty easy to say fuck him and block him.
     
  13. Mar 21, 2012 at 12:38 AM
    #13
    TacomaG26

    TacomaG26 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2011
    Member:
    #67283
    Messages:
    430
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nic
    Goldsboro NC
    Vehicle:
    4.0v6 4x4 TRD Sport
    2.5in spacer leveling kit with Toytech AAL in the rear, Brute Force Fab front and rear bumper, AFE stage2 CAI, Alpine headunit with Rockford Fosgate amp and sub, tibted windows, KC lights.
    Man i dont know what to say im great with my family and i wouldnt know what to think......This may sound bad but there is always the block button it things dont work if you do add him....sorry i cant be much help.
     
  14. Mar 21, 2012 at 7:45 AM
    #14
    Joe D

    Joe D Sausage King

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2011
    Member:
    #66942
    Messages:
    5,966
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Joe
    Oxford, Mississippi
    Vehicle:
    Nautical Blue 4Runner Limited 4x4 Model 8668
    Can't answer that for you, it's a personal call.

    If it were me, the first thing I would consider is how I would feel after I decide rather or not to allow contact. Which ever way I went (contact or no) I would not want to regret it later in life.
     
  15. Mar 21, 2012 at 1:48 PM
    #15
    neontrail

    neontrail [OP] ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2008
    Member:
    #5844
    Messages:
    10,128
    Gender:
    Male
    Idaho
    Vehicle:
    2004 NISSAN XTERRA XE/SE
    De-badged, Tint 20%, Blue 48 LED dome-light, .......
    thanks for the replies all !!
    (sorry to offend the facebook haters, maybe it's time you get with the program and come out the closet;))

    I still don't know what I am going to do.


    Basically my parents divorced when I was 12, Never saw or spoke to my father since then. He was in the USAF, a senior master Sargent at that time. I now see that he lives in Manila, Philippines :eek: ..... that's really all I know.

    It's weird, more curious then anything, probably best I just don't mess with it now. But I do value your options and thoughts, ty
     
  16. Mar 21, 2012 at 1:50 PM
    #16
    TS1980

    TS1980 Glocking Tall

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2011
    Member:
    #68914
    Messages:
    449
    Gender:
    Male
    South Florida
    Vehicle:
    2014 Ram 1500 5.7L
    My take on it is this; if I haven't spoken to someone (family member or former friend) in 10+ years then I keep them in the past.
     
  17. Mar 21, 2012 at 2:23 PM
    #17
    angrysam

    angrysam Bring Yuengling To MN!

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Member:
    #48754
    Messages:
    422
    Gender:
    Male
    St Paul, MN
    Vehicle:
    2011 Tundra DC 4x4 RW
    It's a tough call for sure. There are a lot of things spoken between parents that the kids don't get to hear during and after a divorce. Maybe something between him and your mom made him feel that he'd be unwanted in your life.

    Or perhaps when he left he just wanted to keep everything behind him and is now realizing that he messed up.

    Either way, he looked for you. There must be a reason. I'd be curious to no end what the reason is if it were me. And also why it's taken 25 years to make the move.

    I say accept him. Do it expecting nothing out of it and take your time. If there is a relationship there time will reveal it.
     
  18. Mar 21, 2012 at 2:24 PM
    #18
    truckboattruck

    truckboattruck is one of the sharper tools in the shed

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2010
    Member:
    #45123
    Messages:
    2,277
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    evan
    MD
    Vehicle:
    silver sport
    99superjet 11ktm350
  19. Mar 21, 2012 at 2:25 PM
    #19
    Aw9d

    Aw9d That one guy

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2011
    Member:
    #66635
    Messages:
    15,816
    Gender:
    Male
    Az
    If you haven't talked in over 25 years, why start now?

    Unless you have some deep down desire to talk to your father, I'd let it slide.
     
To Top