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When your woman wont put out...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by j_cyrus, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:36 PM
    #1
    j_cyrus

    j_cyrus [OP] Well-Known Member

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    [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while sh e tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewelry department where se picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs a woman.'

    and just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.


    I found this on another forum, thought I would share. I got a laugh out of it, hope its not a repost.
    [/FONT]
     
  2. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:37 PM
    #2
    James3492

    James3492 Well-Known Member

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    Black-out Tail lights Painted Rims & Hood Scoop
    Hahahhaahahaha. thats aweseome lol
     
  3. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:48 PM
    #3
    vball6pac

    vball6pac Well-Known Member

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    That was awesome...haven't heard that in awhile. Last time a friend actually pulled it on his wife, and he spent alot of nights on the couch, or at my place.
     
  4. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:49 PM
    #4
    James3492

    James3492 Well-Known Member

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    Black-out Tail lights Painted Rims & Hood Scoop
    Bahahahhaha,
     
  5. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:50 PM
    #5
    SlurpeeBlueMetallic

    SlurpeeBlueMetallic FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

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    I've read it before as well, haven't yet been pushed far enough to do it... yet. Did you ask your friend if it was worth it? :D
     
  6. Dec 5, 2009 at 2:51 PM
    #6
    j_cyrus

    j_cyrus [OP] Well-Known Member

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    I've already decided I am going to do this to my old lady next time she does not put out.
     
  7. Dec 5, 2009 at 3:21 PM
    #7
    tegdog

    tegdog Taco Lover

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    [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica] I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.[/FONT]

    Ha Ha "doesnt even know how to play tennis" Thats great.:)

    [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica] [/FONT]
     
  8. Dec 5, 2009 at 3:44 PM
    #8
    petersharp

    petersharp Well-Known Member

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    Do you need to ask?! It's up there ^
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    Never heard it before, funny!
     
  9. Dec 5, 2009 at 3:57 PM
    #9
    moto932

    moto932 What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?

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    nice!
     
  10. Dec 5, 2009 at 4:01 PM
    #10
    Mexican_taco

    Mexican_taco Well-Known Member

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    Thats funny
     
  11. Dec 5, 2009 at 6:30 PM
    #11
    surfsupl

    surfsupl Well-Known Member

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  12. Dec 5, 2009 at 6:33 PM
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    Rucas

    Rucas 1st gen > 2nd gen

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    haha thats wus up.
     
  13. Dec 5, 2009 at 6:44 PM
    #13
    VenomTaco88

    VenomTaco88 Just Got Engaged!

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    If i only had the balls to try something like that ............lol i would mess it up and just sound like a dumbass lol nice post tho bro hilirous
     
  14. Dec 5, 2009 at 6:51 PM
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    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    :rofl: hahaha. thats a classic
     
  15. Dec 5, 2009 at 6:59 PM
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    rhodehard09

    rhodehard09 sometimes nonsense is the only sense someone has

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    very very good
     
  16. Dec 5, 2009 at 7:10 PM
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    JM76

    JM76 Ride On

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    ok, I'm not gonna lie, at first I really thought you were venting about you and your lady:eek:....but alas, as I read on, I realized that it was a joke. Nice work. I should try that with my wife sometime, on second thought....maybe not.
     
  17. Dec 5, 2009 at 7:24 PM
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    NathanArena1988

    NathanArena1988 Member

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    ha ha that's funny
     
  18. Dec 6, 2009 at 7:13 PM
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    HondaGM

    HondaGM Roll Tide

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  19. Dec 6, 2009 at 7:30 PM
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    rhodehard09

    rhodehard09 sometimes nonsense is the only sense someone has

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    wait till she falls asleep......then stick it in her butt
     
  20. Dec 6, 2009 at 7:35 PM
    #20
    CanadianGuy

    CanadianGuy Well-Known Member

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    bahaha thats hilarious
     
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