1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Wife's first deployment since being a mother.

Discussion in 'Military' started by Meaty, Feb 24, 2019.

  1. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:04 AM
    #1
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    My wife has her first deployment coming up, and she's also a mother. I got out of the military in 2015 when we decided to start a family, but she figured one of us should do a full 20 for the benefits.

    I am super worried. It was easy to be alone or be away when it was just Us.

    I am worried about being a single dad with our closest family 1100 miles away

    I am worried about her ability to adjust to home life after missing such a formative year for our only son

    I am worried about her ability to understand I did the best I could as a father when she was away.


    Anyone else ever deal with this? I really thought after 6 years in and another 3 years as a traveling aircraft mechanic in the civilian world I was more prepared for being a military husband, but my inability to sleep says otherwise.
     
    DayTripper85 likes this.
  2. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:11 AM
    #2
    wilcam47

    wilcam47 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2016
    Member:
    #176243
    Messages:
    23,422
    Gender:
    Male
    Arizona now!!!
    Many people deal with this, it is part of the military life. Theres resources on base to help, also friends...hope you have some friends to help in case you cant pick up your son on time from daycare. I assume you also work. but stay in close contact via phone or letters. How long of Deployment?
     
    scottalot likes this.
  3. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:11 AM
    #3
    airsavage

    airsavage Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2017
    Member:
    #213699
    Messages:
    1,535
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Butch
    Vehicle:
    2015 DCLB 4x4 MGM, 2000 Prerunner
    Hellwig 2K helpers, LEER Shell, Tow mirrors, Bull Bar,
    Slow down and take a deep breath. All military bases have support units to help and guide people going thru exactly what you are going thru now. Hundreds of thousands of military folks are/have gone thru it and you are no different. Sometimes just talking to someone else helps. Give them a call for support and help and you'll be fine.
     
    DayTripper85, wilcam47 and scottalot like this.
  4. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:13 AM
    #4
    scottalot

    scottalot FooW

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2013
    Member:
    #105349
    Messages:
    123,902
    First Name:
    Stockalot
    TW
    Vehicle:
    2018 tea four arghh Offroad 4x4 White LoveMachine
    Bone stock like Chicken in the Crock Pot .Dakkars,305/70/16 MT's, Extended length Fox Coilovers, Fox RR rear Shocks, Total Chaos UCA's, Dakar Leaf packs, LED Map and Dome, Breather relocate, Slimer from Ghost-busters starut up screen, Vent Visors, LED Pod's on Ditch Brackets soon, Level 8 Strike 6 Wheels, New MT Tars - Fierce Attitude, SOS front bumper -steel, SOS bed rack, LED white marker lights, LED reverse, TRD exhaust, Wheelers Super Bumps up front, SOS sliders bolt on with fill plates, Csjummper2003 White/Amber DTRL and white parking led bulbs, RTT rack basket Sold 2013, sold 2014 Tacoma. All listed stuff was on the '14 Bed Mat, WeatherTech Rain Guards, Ultra Gauge, TW Sticker amongst others, Useless Free OEM Bug Deflector, Flyzeye, OME Kit with 885's and Dakar and Nitro Shocks front and Rear . Tailgate mod, SOS Concepts 1/4" Skid Plate, White LED's interior Dome and Maps, Goodyear Wrangler MTR Kevlar 275/70/17, Wet Okole Seat Covers - full piping in Charcoal Grey, Lamin-X Green Fog light film, 17"x8 -10 offset Level 8 MK6 wheels in Gun Metal Finish, SOS Concepts Sliders W/ Kickout 12/21/14, Stubby antenna, LED reverse lights, lift removed 2/20/15 - making changes and trying to make up my mind
    You’ll be just fine. That year will come and go and be a thing of the past before ya know it. Just be glad ya didn’t have triplets
     
    JaCado, TomTwo and Crodell6 like this.
  5. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:13 AM
    #5
    crazysccrmd

    crazysccrmd Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2016
    Member:
    #181592
    Messages:
    4,148
    Gender:
    Male
    This is your chance to blow all the deployment money on truck parts and pick up a side piece. Time to live up to the dependa reputation.
     
    Cubone04, Bridge4, BoneTaco and 2 others like this.
  6. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:14 AM
    #6
    11Bguy

    11Bguy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2017
    Member:
    #215597
    Messages:
    541
    Gender:
    Male
    Va
    Vehicle:
    2017 DCSB TRD
    Icons/ JBA UCA's
    Is she active duty?
     
  7. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:14 AM
    #7
    Haslefre

    Haslefre Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2012
    Member:
    #71523
    Messages:
    18,219
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brady
    NorCal
    Vehicle:
    2019 Tundra
    Some flags and center console divider... lots of things on the wanted list.
    What branch are you, and where is she going? I might be able to help connect her to some people depending on that info... Give her perspective while she's gone.

    I just got back from a one year to Turkey. My wife did great with the 2 boys on her own. I'm still not with them as we are waiting for one to get done in school before they join me... There are programs everywhere to help people out. Whether you or your wife are religious at all, the chaplain is always helpful. PM me if you need any help.
     
    scottalot likes this.
  8. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:15 AM
    #8
    Andrew H

    Andrew H What is this "search" you speak of?

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2008
    Member:
    #10545
    Messages:
    4,448
    Gender:
    Male
    Dirty Tucson
    Vehicle:
    2017SSMDCSBTRDS
    Haven’t been through anything like that. Closest thing was picking up a lot of extra shifts at work resulting in me being away for 96 hours at a time, but that was before we had kids.

    Endless respect for everyone in the military.
     
    scottalot likes this.
  9. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:16 AM
    #9
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    Should have been more clear. We are 160 miles from the nearest active duty base (jblm) and her reserve unit is absolutely horrible. Literally the worst command climate I have ever seen. There is absolutely 0 connectivity between her command and the local FRG. Anyways, I'm not really worried about the whole "picking my son up on time" bit, as my work is super supportive, I'm more worried about "am I doing enough as a father to teach and nurture my son" and "does he need a positive female influence?"

    Also I am WAY more worried for her. I am mostly concerned she will get mega de0ression upon returning home.
     
  10. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:16 AM
    #10
    scottalot

    scottalot FooW

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2013
    Member:
    #105349
    Messages:
    123,902
    First Name:
    Stockalot
    TW
    Vehicle:
    2018 tea four arghh Offroad 4x4 White LoveMachine
    Bone stock like Chicken in the Crock Pot .Dakkars,305/70/16 MT's, Extended length Fox Coilovers, Fox RR rear Shocks, Total Chaos UCA's, Dakar Leaf packs, LED Map and Dome, Breather relocate, Slimer from Ghost-busters starut up screen, Vent Visors, LED Pod's on Ditch Brackets soon, Level 8 Strike 6 Wheels, New MT Tars - Fierce Attitude, SOS front bumper -steel, SOS bed rack, LED white marker lights, LED reverse, TRD exhaust, Wheelers Super Bumps up front, SOS sliders bolt on with fill plates, Csjummper2003 White/Amber DTRL and white parking led bulbs, RTT rack basket Sold 2013, sold 2014 Tacoma. All listed stuff was on the '14 Bed Mat, WeatherTech Rain Guards, Ultra Gauge, TW Sticker amongst others, Useless Free OEM Bug Deflector, Flyzeye, OME Kit with 885's and Dakar and Nitro Shocks front and Rear . Tailgate mod, SOS Concepts 1/4" Skid Plate, White LED's interior Dome and Maps, Goodyear Wrangler MTR Kevlar 275/70/17, Wet Okole Seat Covers - full piping in Charcoal Grey, Lamin-X Green Fog light film, 17"x8 -10 offset Level 8 MK6 wheels in Gun Metal Finish, SOS Concepts Sliders W/ Kickout 12/21/14, Stubby antenna, LED reverse lights, lift removed 2/20/15 - making changes and trying to make up my mind
    +2 for wasnbefktr
     
  11. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:17 AM
    #11
    Markcal

    Markcal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2014
    Member:
    #136147
    Messages:
    2,807
    Thank you and your wife for the service to our country and the sacrifices you both have made for all our freedoms! :oldglory:
     
    scottalot likes this.
  12. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:18 AM
    #12
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    I was army, she's army reserve, it's a 9mo +pre/post mob to Kuwait. So like 11mo total maybe? Idk, my premob was always 2mo, but she says hers is 2 weeks.
     
    wilcam47 likes this.
  13. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:23 AM
    #13
    wilcam47

    wilcam47 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2016
    Member:
    #176243
    Messages:
    23,422
    Gender:
    Male
    Arizona now!!!
    Kuwait is supposed to be a good deployment location. I believe they allow skype or some kind of video phone calls...at you son's age he wont remember much of it, and if you have the video phone chat that will help. Also look up resources on the internet if you dont want travel to base.
     
  14. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:25 AM
    #14
    crazysccrmd

    crazysccrmd Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2016
    Member:
    #181592
    Messages:
    4,148
    Gender:
    Male
    A Kuwait rotation is like moving to Detroit. It's shitty, you're slightly more likely to die but you still have all the first world comforts you want.
     
    KRAMERICA, wilcam47 and Meaty [OP] like this.
  15. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:29 AM
    #15
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    To be a dependapotamus I gotta gain like 150lbs, but I do love me some truck parts...
     
    916carl and wilcam47 like this.
  16. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:31 AM
    #16
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    Ya. I haven't been myself, but it doesn't even pay out hazard pay anymore.

    I'm hoping I can get my kid in to some cool stuff while she's away tho. He needs to be on a dirt bike before she gets back lmao.
     
    Bridge4 likes this.
  17. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:41 AM
    #17
    ajm

    ajm The liquor wins

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2015
    Member:
    #160179
    Messages:
    892
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Anthony
    AZ
    Vehicle:
    96 2.7 4x4
    Rust perforated for aerodynamixxx
    I got out in 2008 after 4 years active duty. Got "drafted" back in 2010, attached to a national guard unit going to Kuwait. @crazysccrmd has it right. Phone, internet, etc all available. Plus mid tour leave.

    How old is the kid? They adjust pretty quickly. You can't worry about what will happen when the wife comes back. Deal with it then. I'm sure you'll all be fine. PM me if you need anything.
     
    wilcam47 likes this.
  18. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:46 AM
    #18
    Captdan762

    Captdan762 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2015
    Member:
    #152220
    Messages:
    503
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Dan
    Kentucky/ Tennessee
    Vehicle:
    09 Tacoma TRDOR (sold)/ 17 T4R OR 2020 Tundra
    Don’t try to hard to be the best dad, I am sure you will be alright and just try to keep a routine going. Kuwait has the same technology we do she can get a new SIM card in her phone with internet plan to call and FaceTime. The one thing me and my wife agreed on was when I returned home after deployments was I do not jump in the mix to quick after she been running the house without me. Worked for 6 deployments so far, just give her time to adjust. Truck parts are always a plus as well.
     
    Meaty [OP] likes this.
  19. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:51 AM
    #19
    Meaty

    Meaty [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2019
    Member:
    #277923
    Messages:
    142
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Nate
    Vehicle:
    2019 SR dcsb 4x4
    Dang. They grabbed that IRR just in time eh? Or did you have a 4 year IRR?
     
  20. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:53 AM
    #20
    ajm

    ajm The liquor wins

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2015
    Member:
    #160179
    Messages:
    892
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Anthony
    AZ
    Vehicle:
    96 2.7 4x4
    Rust perforated for aerodynamixxx
    Yeah 4 year IRR. After 2 years out i was not super excited to go back.
     
    Meaty [OP] likes this.

Products Discussed in

To Top